Mom-in-law Really Wants To Baby-Sit, Do Not Agree Of Her Nurturing Choose Part-Time Day-Care 4 Hours From My Parents Who Both Work.Guidance??

[gwynethpaltrow8]

I'm a pregnant nursing student and my mom-in-law instantly thinks(actually managing and meddling inside our connection) she will be baby-sitting my kid on a standard basis. My dad-in-law is wealthy and she's never worked, staying residence to enhance her two adopted kids. Developing up my dad in-law reviewed about my spouse making terrible asthma he had been spoiled rotten and both him and his cousin nonetheless demands to this quite day. Each did whatever they want and still get what ever they want(vehicles, cash and so forth) even today. They definitely were trained no ideals and the parents constantly separate. I originate from an really large traditional caring household and am concerned about obtaining my mother-in-law play this sort of massive component in raising my kid. We shall reside in the Collegeis committed home with a excellent day-care I possibly could send my youngster to component-time. Am I more than-reacting? Could it be a lot more straightforward to have her more than day-care? I live so that they are not an option.

[adare]

the solution is quite simple Since the daycare is located at your school just tell your mom in law that as a new parent you'd feel better leaving her/him in the schools daycare so you can easily duck in and check on him/her and you'll have more time throughout your day without the hassle of driving to drop the baby off and picking the baby up. to save her for having hurt feelings pick a day out the week(every two weeks)that you have to do marketing etc and ask her to baby-sit for a couple of hours, act like you are overwhelmed and really need her, that should smooth everything over and I hardly think that she'll do any damage one day every two weeks for a couple of hours! I hope this helps you and congratulations with the new baby! lioness 69 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.

[bimal]

  The day care is probably more convenient because it is close to where you live and school.  This is probably what you should tell m-i-l rather than you think she was a lousy parent.   You didn?t say how old your child is.  I would prefer to put a baby in care where s/he was the only one, because babies might not get as much attention in a group situation.  And I wouldn?t worry about an 11 mo old getting ?spoiled?.  But after 18 mos and definitely by 2 s/he should be in day care for socialization.  At least that?s what you tell m-i-l.    The ?spoiling? issue is not going to go away even if you put your kids in daycare.  As long as you live near family m-i-l is going to be visiting and taking them to visit her.  She will be showering them with things and maybe even criticizing your parenting.  She may try to give your kids cars and money.  What you have to do is put a plan in place now.  Set limits.  To keep the house clutter free at some point make a rule that for every new toy or outfit that comes in, another one must be donated to charity(this is not a bad rule for the parents too).  For every money gift 80-90% must be saved to a piggy bank and eventually a savings account.  There will be no car before 17 and then the child must pay for the insurance and expenses.  If these are the rules all along, your child will grow up with good values.  Of course the parents have to set the example by not living beyond your means.  If Grandma slips them a goody now and then, that's what grandma's do.    It is really important not to overreact.  If she says something or does something you seriously disagree with, deal with it.  You may want to tell her privately and calmly why you don't want it to agree with it.  If it is a continuing problem that is affecting your family, you need to present a united front with your husband and possibly put some distance between you.   You are not going to be able to completely control your children's environment.  They will be around people with different values.  As long as your influence is fair and consistent, they will be strong enough to overcome peer(or granny) pressure. 

[Garrin]

Mother-in-law/day care Being a proud mom of 2 young men(now), I would put my child in day care if your mother-in-law exhibits all of the traits that you said.  I am only 1 of 2 children but I was raised with lots and lots of love, discipline when needed.  I was taught right and wrong, morals.  My mom thinks she was to strict, but I believe my parents did well.  I used her philosophy when raising my boys and I'm proud to say that they have turned out to be amazingly great young men.  Both are responsible, respectful young men.  My husband comes from a large family and they were raised like me.  Everyone turned out as well as my boys.  Everyone cares about their brothers and sisters and they are very giving.  If someone needs something, at a drop of a hat someone will be there to help.   Nurture that new little one when he/she comes into the world and give the child lots of love and teach them as they grow. ~3critters1nheavn~ 69 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.

[Chaakmongwi]

Your child will benefit from being with their grandparents, also it would be extremely unkind to put your baby into childcare when you have a willing babysitter.  Grandparents will love the baby and do their best to care for him or her, you cannot always say the say for nurseries(no matter how good and expensive).  It was at a nursery that my daughter, who was aged 2 at the time, broke her cheek bone.  The nursery staff took them to the toilet and did not supervise them, so an older girl pushed her against the toilet breaking her cheek bone.  She is O.K. now. If, after a while, you do not agree with how your mother in law is looking after the baby, then have a chat over a cup of coffee and agree that the same rules are followed in her house as they are in yours. You can start with the compliment "I am so glad that you are looking after the child as she is so precious to us all and needs the love and attention that only a family can give her. That is why I think it is so important that he/she is given the same rules at your house as she is at mine for instance: I don't want her eating sweets and cakes between meals, she can have lots of toys bought for her at Christmas and Birthday but not in between as we do not want her to become spoilt and think that she can have everything she wants.  I know if we work together she/he will grow up to be a wonderful adult.  Don't you agree?" You are really lucky having family who want to babysit. They will give her the love and care(that might not be as good as yours) but nearly as good.  This will enable her to grow into a well balanced child.

[Saleem]

Your child, your rules. The bottom line is that your mother in law has no say in what care arrangements you make for your child. If you want your child in day care rather than under her care, put her in day care. If your mother in law makes a fuss you can simply tell her that you would rather your child be in an environment where(s)he gets to interact with other children and, unlike a playground the group of children(s)he will be around will remain pretty consistent from day to day and this will help his/her social development. Additionally, having your child in the University's married housing day care gives you the chance to interact with the other married housing parents and is good for your social life as well. If she still puts up a fuss, simply tell her: "Look, I'm the mom and I am more comfortable with my child in day care." End of discussion... YoBob 69 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.

[Nikos]

Being a proud mom of 2 young men(now), I would put my child in day care if your mother-in-law exhibits all of the traits that you said.  I am only 1 of 2 children but I was raised with lots and lots of love, discipline when needed.  I was taught right and wrong, morals.  My mom thinks she was to strict, but I believe my parents did well.  I used her philosophy when raising my boys and I'm proud to say that they have turned out to be amazingly great young men.  Both are responsible, respectful young men.  My husband comes from a large family and they were raised like me.  Everyone turned out as well as my boys.  Everyone cares about their brothers and sisters and they are very giving.  If someone needs something, at a drop of a hat someone will be there to help.   Nurture that new little one when he/she comes into the world and give the child lots of love and teach them as they grow.

[Burns]

Family first Your child will benefit from being with their grandparents, also it would be extremely unkind to put your baby into childcare when you have a willing babysitter.  Grandparents will love the baby and do their best to care for him or her, you cannot always say the say for nurseries(no matter how good and expensive).  It was at a nursery that my daughter, who was aged 2 at the time, broke her cheek bone.  The nursery staff took them to the toilet and did not supervise them, so an older girl pushed her against the toilet breaking her cheek bone.  She is O.K. now. If, after a while, you do not agree with how your mother in law is looking after the baby, then have a chat over a cup of coffee and agree that the same rules are followed in her house as they are in yours. You can start with the compliment "I am so glad that you are looking after the child as she is so precious to us all and needs the love and attention that only a family can give her. That is why I think it is so important that he/she is given the same rules at your house as she is at mine for instance: I don't want her eating sweets and cakes between meals, she can have lots of toys bought for her at Christmas and Birthday but not in between as we do not want her to become spoilt and think that she can have everything she wants.  I know if we work together she/he will grow up to be a wonderful adult.  Don't you agree?" You are really lucky having family who want to babysit. They will give her the love and care(that might not be as good as yours) but nearly as good.  This will enable her to grow into a well balanced child. chirpy 69 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.

[Bond]

You should do what you feel is best.   The day care is probably more convenient because it is close to where you live and school.  This is probably what you should tell m-i-l rather than you think she was a lousy parent.   You didn?t say how old your child is.  I would prefer to put a baby in care where s/he was the only one, because babies might not get as much attention in a group situation.  And I wouldn?t worry about an 11 mo old getting ?spoiled?.  But after 18 mos and definitely by 2 s/he should be in day care for socialization.  At least that?s what you tell m-i-l.    The ?spoiling? issue is not going to go away even if you put your kids in daycare.  As long as you live near family m-i-l is going to be visiting and taking them to visit her.  She will be showering them with things and maybe even criticizing your parenting.  She may try to give your kids cars and money.  What you have to do is put a plan in place now.  Set limits.  To keep the house clutter free at some point make a rule that for every new toy or outfit that comes in, another one must be donated to charity(this is not a bad rule for the parents too).  For every money gift 80-90% must be saved to a piggy bank and eventually a savings account.  There will be no car before 17 and then the child must pay for the insurance and expenses.  If these are the rules all along, your child will grow up with good values.  Of course the parents have to set the example by not living beyond your means.  If Grandma slips them a goody now and then, that's what grandma's do.    It is really important not to overreact.  If she says something or does something you seriously disagree with, deal with it.  You may want to tell her privately and calmly why you don't want it to agree with it.  If it is a continuing problem that is affecting your family, you need to present a united front with your husband and possibly put some distance between you.   You are not going to be able to completely control your children's environment.  They will be around people with different values.  As long as your influence is fair and consistent, they will be strong enough to overcome peer(or granny) pressure.    galileogirl's Recommendations The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage(and Make Friends with) Your Mother-In-Law! Amazon List Price: $14.95 Average Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5(based on 26 reviews) galileogirl 69 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.

[Stephon]

Since the daycare is located at your school just tell your mom in law that as a new parent you'd feel better leaving her/him in the schools daycare so you can easily duck in and check on him/her and you'll have more time throughout your day without the hassle of driving to drop the baby off and picking the baby up. to save her for having hurt feelings pick a day out the week(every two weeks)that you have to do marketing etc and ask her to baby-sit for a couple of hours, act like you are overwhelmed and really need her, that should smooth everything over and I hardly think that she'll do any damage one day every two weeks for a couple of hours! I hope this helps you and congratulations with the new baby!