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[deangelo51]

Many of my friends never went to college, like my best friend. She got pregnant and married early. I distanced myself from her, because I didn't want to end up like her. Now, I miss her as a friend, but it's too late for us to be friends. For one, I think I'm jelous of her "easy" life: she works at a local, small bank as a assistant manager or teller supervisor (not sure which one), whereas I have to undergo fights with discrimination and other issues in the big, corporate world. Her responsibilities are probably slim compared to mine, which causes my job to be stressful. Just today I took a ride by her house, and thought of what if I had a life like hers. But then, on one hand I want simplicity, on the other, I still want to be a businesswoman, soon will be in law school...sometimes I dont know which one should I chose. I want to be successful, but often I feel like my life is passing by...

[calin]

Many of my friends never went to college, like my best friend. She got pregnant and married early. I distanced myself from her, because I didn't want to end up like her. Now, I miss her as a friend, but it's too late for us to be friends. For one, I think I'm jelous of her "easy" life: she works at a local, small bank as a assistant manager or teller supervisor (not sure which one), whereas I have to undergo fights with discrimination and other issues in the big, corporate world. Her responsibilities are probably slim compared to mine, which causes my job to be stressful. Just today I took a ride by her house, and thought of what if I had a life like hers. But then, on one hand I want simplicity, on the other, I still want to be a businesswoman, soon will be in law school...sometimes I dont know which one should I chose. I want to be successful, but often I feel like my life is passing by...

You have a few problems. The first is that you are a judgemental cow. You automatically assumed that getting pregnant and married young, and not going to 'college' (or uni to me) would mean her life was **** and worthless. How narrow-minded you are. Yes, I realise this CAN be the 'kiss of death' to someone achieving things in life, but it isn't necessarily, and in any case, some people find that the 'kiss of death' comes from a corporate job that they had to work hard at uni to get (i.e. thinking of all the corporate people I know who have either committed suicide, tried, or considered this way, as they hated their job and the high pressure and money chasing life).

I would demonstrate my parents. My mother was 20 and my father was 23 when they had me. Both are intelligent people (one went to the top selective school [can only get in if you get a high intelligence score] in the state), however, I was an accident (intelligence and safe sex don't always seem to go hand in hand sadly). Anyway, since I was obviously in the way, they didn't go to uni/college, instead they got married about 6 months before I was born, and yes, originally their life was tough and what /you/ might call 'simple'. My mother worked in places such as banks, admin jobs etc, whilst my dad worked in computers.

FAST FORWARD: They live in one of the most expensive (and pleasant) suburbs in Sydney, have a lovely house, have jobs that they like (both decent to rather high paying careers that my parents did not need to provide degrees for), can afford to constantly go away on holidays, go shopping if they want, spend time with family, friends and each other often etc. Their life is quite nice, and I would say, quite successful. It has not been easy to get there, but it has happened.

Along comes you. Would you look at people like my parents and assume that their lives are crap because they didn't get degrees and had a child young? Probably not, and yet you seem to have this superior sort of tone (well, that's how I read it) about your friend. For someone who can't even spell jealous correctly, I'm confused as to how you could be so judgemental of those who have less education than you.

Furthermore, do you assume her life is 'simple' because she's 'dumb' and her job is worth 'less' than yours? Oh yes, she didn't go to college, her job must be sooo easy because it doesn't require a degree. Seriously? **** off. I am currently going to uni myself, and I work retail on the side, and I can tell you now, 'scum-kicking' jobs (at least, what you see them to be) are NOT easy, and are no less stressful than yours. I get treated like rubbish from customers all day, I stand with no breaks (not even lunch breaks when it's too busy) for 8-10 hrs minimum, at my last retail job I was putting in an average of 10 unpaid extra hours a week (which, when you consider it is a casual job, is ridiculous), everyone thinks (and treats you like) you're a moron (despite the fact that I'm probably smarter than most of the customers and was much smarter than some of my 'superiors' in my old job), you have to fork out about $300 - $500 a month for clothing, you're expected to do 20 things at once, demanded by about 5 different people... the list goes on. It is extremely stressful, especially when customers get personal about things which have nothing to do with you, as I assume your friend deals with every day.

So stop assuming that your friend is some dumb, simple retard because of her life choices, lower education and 'lesser' job than yours... your whole 'question' smacks of ignorance, despite your 'higher' education that is meant to teach an open mind and to think about things from more than one angle. Your life is passing you by because you're too shallow to appreciate things.

[trucker]

Firstly, yes, I'm sorry, I did spell it incorrectly, I checked a few different sources, & changed it around a few times. But in the end I was wrong, so my bad.

Secondly, I never said you called her retarded or dumb, I was making it clear that that's how it sounded to me from what you said...

[mads]

Thirdly, I'm sorry, I am smart. It's the only thing I have, so don't take it the **** away from me. I went to a school that requires a minimum IQ of 135 to attend (& yes, IQ /is/ a valid measurement of intelligence, I just studied that at my top university so blah). However, I don't think I am

[jerrick]

better than my friends, like you so obviously do. I certainly don't judge people because of their careers or life choices. & I believe you did in fact say that your friend's life was simple, so... & I quote from you: "I distanced myself from her, because I didn't want to end up like her. " Sounds

[jerard]

kind of bitchy to me, and definitely seems like a put down of her choices.

Also, I've never had a complaint about my customer service, I've always been polite, even when physically threatened (that happens at a particular mall), & I've always been kept on at the same stores for years...

[erwin]

Oh and, ah, if you really didn't like my response, shouldn't have given me 10 bonus points... Oh well, guess I benefit from your burning desire to 'get me back'...

I am not rude, I am honest. If you can't handle that, why are you posting your problems on an extremely public website??

[blaisdell]

when you have something you want something else.. once you got it you want something else..
it's human nature..
also, many people get degrees and end up not using them since they find out they actually don't like that occupation..

enjoy your life.. HIGH xD

[barnett]

You need to take time to prioritize your life and figure out what it is you REALLY want. Do you want a life of leisure or the life of an empowered business woman? Once you figure that out I don't believe it will be difficult for you to figure out what to do with your life.

[coinleain]

"The grass is always greener on the other side."

Sounds like a normal situation to me. What you are experiencing is a thought they hit most of us. Choosing between a hard life to a simple life. Everything that lived and breathe on this planet always want things in life to come easy and simple. Yet, things that are worth having never come easy.

I get that thought all the time. "Man, their lives are so simple and easy compared to mine", "Why is my life so hard?", "Maybe I should live their lives then things will be easy and simple for me, too?" and etc etc etc.

You sounds like an intelligent and ambitious woman who wants to go place in her life and get the better things in life like a successful career, huge salary, respectable job, acknowledgment from others, and maybe a mansion or two. Well, those things don't come cheap nor do they come easy. It take work and that what you're experiencing right now.

Should it stressed you out? Yes.
Do you want to quit a lot of time? Hell yes.
Will this thought ever go away? No.
But, should it stop you? No!

It's a long and hard journey for people like you and me, but do not be discourage for there is light at the end of the tunnel and so are the rewards that we so longed for. Happiness is at the end of the tunnel, but you will never get there is you stop now. Like the little engine that could, you have to keep on chugging along through rain, sleet, or snow. "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I know I can!"