California Divorce Laws Are They Upheld And Inforced In Germany? 22 Yrs Married Germany Wife 3/kids Vacation, Family Does Not Return.

[Sumertun]

Marriage took place in California. My German wife and I have had problems for many years I would have to admit. She has threatened me with going to Germany and never returning, many times over. Well that finally happened summer 2010. She took her normal Germany vacation as normal every year to visit relatives and finally did it. She and our 3 kids(12,8,5), after 22 years married are going to school and she just got a job(starts Feb 2011), and with the government(kindercare) child support monies on top of that. Great for her, I'm having trouble finding work, besides that, we aslo filed for bankruptcy in January 2010 as well, which was finalized Jan 2011. Yes one of the top three reasons for Divorce - Finacial. Anyway, with the economy and lack of financial stability she had enough and decided to stay there. Ok, well I still can't find work, so she decided that she has had enough and wants a divorce. After reading through for at least 4 hours of these posting of your company I decided it is in my best interest to file for divorce here in California before the ONE year separation law in German for filing divorce takes place. Meanwhile we have discussed trying to work it out(our marriage) but she is tired of it now. So it seems like a coincidence that after that magic 6 months period of her and the kids living in Germany she tells me divorce.(pertaining to the "well being and stabilty" of children staying long enough in Germany, where they aren't subject to be forced to move back to the USA).. I was under the impression that  was only a vacation and they would come back. Marrige problems during the vacation continued over the phone conversations and so in the summer she, stays, and puts the kids in school.

After that happened, I was going along with it and we both talked about if I get my financial situation good, they 'might' come back. Well that hasn't happen still yet obviously. So now divorce is going to happen.

Why file in California?? some quick reasons through extensive on-line research I seemed to have concluded...

1: well the child support payments are less

2: child visitation rights, the airfare is split between both parents for the kids and the father. thus effecting her child support payments.  I found that in German law, I would always have to come up with the extra money for the 3 kids to visit and my own airfare to Germany, she doesn't have to worry about it.

"If you have the extra money then you'll be able to visit the children" - That is going to be very difficult. I have been reading about the financial drain the German Law does to a Father. I can see my future with the children as a SKYPE affair only.

3:  A child at the age of 14 in California has "right of choice" to live with either parent  -  according to Germany law that does not exist for the child.

4:  The money and the RIGHTS of the father he has to give up, within the Germany law....is way more than that of California law...

5:  It is so hard to imagine that now after 22 yrs, I am subjected to certain Germany Laws especially the Child support ones, that is a lot of money the German Government seeks for the children and on top of that I have to come up with even more to visit my children, or if they come here for summer vacation.

6: Funny thing is I'm finding out is California is such a leader in human rights, minority rights, divorce rights of Fathers trying to equal that of the Mothers rights, that it seems....That German Law vs. California Law is at different ends of the spectrum. Sort of like Democrats and Republicans.

s:

1:  Why or How is it so fair that I'm subjected to the child support payments according to the German Law if I'm filing in California?

My goodness, our whole life has been in California...

2:  Just to confirm, if the above is really true, does the California Law come in to play about Child visitation Law.. if of a great distance the children are living away from the other parent(me in California), because of that other parents,(the German), choice to move away from the last residence(which was in California), it should not be a one-way financial burden for the visitations of the spouse left behind with no family(me in California). Is the other parent(German) is legally responsible for half the airfare. Then would that California Law effect the payments as well?  

--  What I mean is that since it is 100% out of pocket for me, the California courts figure out the cost and halves it, and applies it to the payments, and that is why the child payments are reduced, so that I can save up for the visits at future planned dates.

3:  Through reading some stuff I'm not sure the German Law really gives the Father any sort of right in regards to the children getting to visit their Father in the other country - USA. It seems like the German Law gives the entire right to the mother and if she says, "no way I'm not letting the children visit you in California", then by all means that sticks. So is the Germany Law really like that or do I get to have the kids in California every summer?

4:  I will be filing in California, but anyhow, does the "right of a Child Law of choice to live with which parent after 14yrs old" does that uphold for my children? Would they loose there "right of choice" now because they live in Germany or do the children get to keep their rights?

5:  Is there or Which other laws of Germany will "supersede" those laws of California Jurisdiction of Divorce? Is there more I don't know about? Is it only the child support payment schedule law? Or is there absolutely no Germany laws "superseding" over the California Divorce Laws?

6:  With respect to me, I understand you are a German Lawyer, but honestly, I, as a Father, will be getting a much "better" deal here filing in California. Do You Agree With That?

7:  Should I even try to get back my children?

Reading through all those posts makes me believe, that is a dead-end deal for sure.

I'm not fighting for custody of the kids, it is probably in their best interest to live with their Mother.... Well, I'm ok with them living in Germany actually, if... with the fact of the visitation rights of California Law, I get to have the children over the summer and 2 visits in Germany for Holidays or what nots. And the fact the children have a "right of Choice". The above 7 questions are my most immediate concerns and worries currently.

I can continue believe me about shipping containers for all the belongings of 3 children and my wife's stuff, 2 different property ownership issues, Taxes for 2010 and 2011 on and on. But I will not ask, those 7 questions above are the ones that REALLY spook me and I'm certainly afraid of the outcome if I don't start acting on this soon.

Gosh, I'm sorry I feel like I've asked to much, but reading through 4 hours of postings on this web site alone, I am not really clear on all that above, especially there was never any detail to this nuance of what is really being honored in the Divorce papers if filing in the USA and what is upheld in Germany. All I've found is what really is going to happen to me if the Divorce gets filed in Germany. One detail that was mentioned over and over was the Germany child support using the Germany tablet just because they are living there, but I'm asking that again also just to make sure and confirm it. I believe the readers need to see these ideas of mine that I am seeking. I really hope this gets posted.

Do I get and email link back to the posting or do you just email me back the answers as well?

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!  I'm so greatful I found this site!

Regards,

Another very Sad Dad..

[Lach]

Dear David,

If the children live in Germany for 6 months German law applies for child support, custody and visitation even if you file for divorce in California. The US court might not know that. But your wife could file for a new decision in Germany. German courts normally decide that the children can come and visit you in the US for ca. 3 weeks in the summer and 10 to 14 days for Easter or Christmas if they are 8 years old and older.

You can contact me at [email protected] if you are willing to pay my fee for a telephone consultation to answer all the other questions.

Sincerely,

Carolin Burgess