Does someone want to give me some advise on this 1984 analysis essay??? My conclusion is cheesy... thankyou!!?

[elkanah1]

There comes a feeling people get when they are being watched. In the book 1984, written by George Orwell, everyone lives in a controlled atmosphere. People earn money by changing the history of the world. They are afraid to express themselves because they feel like each action they take will lead them closer to death. In George Orwell’s 1984, by lying to its citizens, the Party has distorted various family values resulting in a severe lack of close relationship and even friendship.
Privacy helps individuals maintain their self-reliance, and individuality. If a family does not have privacy, they cannot express themselves and therefore, they do not act like a family. In the book 1984, Big Brother is watching everyone every minute of the day, so the families are known to be functional. By our standards, each family is dysfunctional. Spouses do not love each other and therefore, children have no examples of this. They will be unable to create the social and interpersonal bonds with their parents because their parents are numb. The government controls every person like a machine. Everyone has to follow the rules or the Party will think of something to make the person suffer and regret their actions. Winston explains that “The only hope is with the proles” (69). He feels they are the only ones who have been able to keep their humanity and individuality.
The Party does everything it is able to do, to destroy feelings of emotion and also loyalty between individuals. Sex is only allowed if a family wants another sibling. The Party controls everything, and even wants more power than it already has. Everyone is wearing a mask because if they act themselves, they will be afraid of committing a crime. “Your worst enemy, he reflected, was your nervous system; at any moment the tension inside you was liable to translate itself into some visible symptom” (64). If people started to sweat or showed any signs of fear, the Party would already have an idea that the person is doing something incorrectly.
Outside each house, nobody trusts anyone. People are afraid to look at each other because they accidentally might make too much eye contact to the wrong person. Bonds of family are erased since children are encouraged to turn in their parent for any thought crimes. “Thought crime does not entail death; thought crime is death” (28). People had to practice doublethink; thinking one idea, but speaking another in a conversation. Everyone had to conform to the expectations of Big Brother, or else they would be taken away to reeducation.
The Party ruined not only families, but other relationships. People need freedom to live an average life. Everyone was always watched so that no rebellion would start up. The people of the upper class made sure they stayed in power. Big Brother had his eyes on everyone, and therefore freedom was taken away from each person