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[gideon]

Ok so my fiance and I have decided to get married in vegas. It will be at chapel of the flowers which after reading many good reviews,watching their videos, and looking at their photography I know that this is the place for us! I wanted something simple yet not cheesy. Anyways, we want to get married in vegas because its inexpensive and we will have our honeymoon around there also, maybe lake tahoe. We are also both shy people and would rather have a small and intimate wedding and than I'm looking forward to celebrating right after by going to the casino and having fun..well at first we thought about just having our parents there because we don't want to deal with who to invite and who not to invite. We changed our minds and decided to invite family and friends. We have 8 people going so far and everyone took it very well except for his sister in law. She asked if we were paying for people to go and I told her no because we can't pay for her and her family to go and not pay for other ppl and we can't afford to pay for everyone.. we might have to help out his mom with getting a plane ticket but that's because she doesn't have a job and we feel like our parents are the ones that absoultely have to be there.. I feel that his mom sat their for hours in labor to have him and than raised him for 18 years so she should be there..but I told his sister in law upfront that were only going to help out our parents if needed but that's all we can afford.. but sister in law has a job and his bro gets money from school and they've made mutiple trips out of state in the past year and a half but when it comes to our wedding, they just can't "afford" it. And she said no right after I told her our plans, didn't even look into it before shutting us down.. and the wedding isn't till 8 months from now. I felt like we gave them plenty of time ahead and we can tell that my fiances brother really wants to go but its his wife with the problem. She even told me that if it were at any other location that she would come but she just doesn't like las vegas.. even tho she has never been to even make a judgement.. than she turns around and says that she just can't afford it and that were selfish for not having it here but I told her that this is what we really want to do and we don't expect everyone can make it but it will still be the best days of our lives no matter who comes cuz its supposed to be our day not everyone elses. Anyways, I'm seeking advise on how to handle this situation? I'm starting to resent her for having a really bad attitude towards all this instead of people happy for us. Were going to get a dvd and she can watch it online while its happened so she entirely won't miss out. I feel that she really doesn't want to go because she has kids but why should I have to change my wedding plans because she chose to have kids and can't party like everyone else? I feel like since we don't have kids, we should get married in vegas and have the time of our lives so when we have kids, I don't regret not enjoying myself and not jumping to memorable opportunities..

[ayize]

Don't worry about her, she seems full of herself. She is saying you guys are selfish when its the other way around because she suddenly can't pay to go, if she really cared for family and really wanted to go she wouldn't be acting this way. Just don't even worry about it that's my advice to you, just let life settle everything down don't do anything about it because its your wedding you've invited her if she wants to go great if she doesn't she won't pay big deal its not your problem, after all you have to be planning your wedding day & what you want to do after and other things so don't worry about people who are and aren't going. You said it its your guys' day not a "everyone" day

[voliny13]

Your brothers money for school is for "school". That's why it's called student financial aid. When he signs for it, it says exactly what the money can be used for and not included in that list is a trip to vegas.

But the thing is you and she both aren't thinking clearly.
1. you knew when you were doing a destination wedding not everyone would be able to go. You didn't even want them to go originally and now you are *itching because she said they weren't going.
2. what she says immediately and what their family decides to do 8months from now are probably not the same thing (or even if they don't go, it's not for the reasons she was blah blah blahing about when you first told them)
- don't be so quick to confront them, just let them be about it. "We're going to to get a dvd and she can watch it". Just cool yourself too... you are asking just like her.
3. Why did you tell her - "We're paying for mom but not for you" She doesn't need to know you are paying for anyone.

It's clear you want them to come or you wouldn't be all up in arms about this. When it comes up next time just take the higher ground and say we would really you reconsider coming. We would really appreciate it if you were there, since you want to be surrounded by all your loved ones.
- if you don't like her reply DON'T add lighter fluid to the fire. Just continue saying "I understand but hope you can be there".

[wynn]

First, paragraphs, punctuation, and capital letters all exist for a reason. Please consider using them if you want your question to be readable.


Best I can tell you are asking about someone who can't afford to come to Vegas for your wedding. It is not your responsibility to pay anyone's way. You send out the invitation, and it is up to them if they can attend or not. Do not be upset when guests don't have the time or money to travel to Vegas for your wedding.

[jan46]

Vegas weddings are quick and can be simple and way cheaper. You have to go Downtown and purchase the marriage license $60 and you can pay for the basics at the chapel, but know adding pictures, etc., is very expensive. You don't need a dress or flowers though they have both for $$$

You should be under no obligation to pay for people who want to attend, that is their choice from airfare to hotel to food. I would just tell his sister and others you would love to have them present but you cannot afford their "costs. They can save between now and then.

But if you pay for his mother then you should give an equal amount, at least offer, to yours if she is involved in your life. Because you pay for his mother does not mean you pay for his sister, etc. And because she does not like Vegas, though; this is your wedding not hers and she should have no input!

People come to Vegas because it is quick and simple and her demands are inappropriate, unrealistic, and your choices are none of her business

[achimelech51]

Simple answer...

It is YOUR WEDDING....

You can have your wedding where YOU want it to be.
You can invite those people YOU want to be there.
You can pay for bringing people, if you want and can, without having to pay for everyone!

It is YOUR DAY...YOUR Time...YOUR experience...

It is not for anyone else to tell you WHERE you should get married.
It is not for anyone else to tell you you are selfish, lol, for getting married where you want to.
It is not anyone else's job to approve or disapprove of your wedding or honeymoon plans either.

When a couple marries....they become one...it becomes the TWO OF YOU acting as one...and standing firmly together against the world of forces that will come around and test the strength of your loving bond...it will last your whole lives...so, consider this easy practice.

If this is what the two of you want, and it includes helping immediate family (parents)...and "it'd be great of you can make it too" invitations...then so be it.

OH...and giving them more than 6 months notice to save up for the trip, get time off of work, or simply say..."we don't want to go to Vegas"....is VERY NICE and Considerate of you!

BTW: Las Vegas has a ton of great family activities and things to see, do, experience and learn...while here. Including the Hoover Dam tours, Grand Canyon Tours, Natural History Museum, the Shark Reef, Siegfried & Roy's Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat, the Springs Preserve & State Museum, Circus Circus for 'general rides and amusement rides' and much much much more!!!

Feel free to use my associate travel agency for help with any hotel. activity, airfare, etc deals...we help book tens of thousands of people into Vegas every year for nearly 15 years now...so, we have access that no one else does!