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[symington]

My wife and I were married for 6 years. About a year ago we started having trouble and have been teetering on the edge of divorce until last November she finally left me for good and just filed this past week. A lot of our problems were due to financial struggles as I went to law school right after we got married and things were tight. Then I graduated, passed the bar and got a job because we were pregnant, even though I had my masters to get yet. So I went to school while I worked. She had a rough pregnancy and almost died after birth of our daughter. Ever since then she changed. She has become obsessed with her appearance, obsessed with having this huge social life and going out, which pushed us over the edge. I didn't think it was appropriate and she took it as me trying to control her, which led to awful fights and one of us leaving the house for days at a time. I know we are done (she filed), but I am just at a loss. I know being in school I wasn't the best husband and that has been a factor for her, but I just landed this huge job and our lives would be set. No money stresses and no more school so I could finally put her first. I keep wanting to fix things, but she wants nothing to do with it. Our daughter is 18 months old now and all I can think about is how my wife and my life was perfect 18 months ago, now its a mess and I am on the verge of bankruptcy because I got stuck with all the debt. I mean, she is all of the sudden a different person and now we're a broken family.

[macquaid35]

I would go to divorce recovery at your local church as well as read a book that helped me out alot..Joel osteen ''your best life now'' He said ''If plan A fails God has a plan B'' then a book by Joyce meyers''The Battle feild of the mind'' this helped so much..God still has plans for you..praying for u.. I also want you to start talking to the man upstairs just like you talk to your best friend..

[aldric13]

My dear friend,as you are in financial difficulties forget about reunion.It will ruin your life.First come out of your financial problems and then find out some woman who understands you and then enjoy your life.

[teyo]

3yrs post law school and 1yr post divorce, here's what I've learned:

It's true that law school reaks havock on a marriage. If you have any chance of succeeding, you have to have tunnel vision and put school first--it's just so challenging a program. I did every thing in my power to prepare my ex for that struggle. I even suggested we wait to get married, but he didn't want to because he was afraid I'd meet someone else in school. Our marriage also went on the final downward slope with my pregnancy of our first child and I too walked around like a broken record saying, why now? I finally have the job to bring us up out of the mud. No more hand-to-mouthville. This was supposed to be the point where things finally started to get better and we caught a break. Why now?!

After much therapy, those laments have evolved into the realization that things weren't in fact perfect before, I was just so damn busy I didn't realize that. When we started dating I was trying to graduate with a high GPA and LSAT to get into a good law school, then marriage came simultaneously with my first year of law school, then focusing on the bar, there were some health issues in there and some issues with custody of his child from a previous relationship, money problems, etc. etc. etc. When the dust settled and things calmed down for the first time, all of the problems that had always been there (but I never was able to focus enough to see) became aparent. Plus, he really resented my education. I bet as time goes by, you'll begin to realize the same thing: things were never as perfect as they seemed when you were so distracted.

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. It's rough, it's heartbreaking, and most of the time it's the worst nightmare you can never wake up from--but only for a while. I'll always be sad that my family didn't stay together for the kids, but I no longer miss him or love him. I never thought in a million years I ever could, but I have feelings for someone else for the first time in a long time. When I went through my separation and divorce I was depressed and unable to get out of bed for months; I didn't think I would heal but I did. I'm happier than I've ever been and in time, you will be too.

Many prayers to you and your family.

[varik]

Don't beat yourself up bro for wanting to provide for your family. You are a man. That is your job. It sounds like she wasn't built to handle your life journey but you guys made a beautful baby girl. You have to let her live life. It's time for you to start over. There are women out there that would kill for you caliber of man.

Focus on yourself and your daughter and the lessons for the future. I made the same mistakes but it taught me how to prioritize my time, still take over the world, but be back home in time for dinner to spend with my lady and my kids. Learn the lesson and use it to make you better.

Once you're better you will attract better into your life!

Trust me.
You are forgiven for everything. This is your change to start fresh.