I am 25, my mother treats me like a child, and sets me up to fail as an adult.?

[ricard83]

I am 25 years old and still live with my parents. This embarasses me very much. My mother has always treated me like a child and it has seemed to increase dramatically since I turned 18. I have a sister who is a few years younger than me who has never had this problem with her.No one else has had this problem either. I used to feel that she was the 'favorite' and thats why she got her way with any situation. This started out with extra privlidges around the house and has catapulted into my mother scrutenizing my every move. I was never allowed to make any choices as a child. I was not alowed to choose what I wanted to wear when I got up in the morning but my sister had an endless amount of options. At 12 she was allowed to go to the mall with her friends, at the time I was 15 and wasnt even allowed to go with a parent present. As I got older, I rebelled more which slowly pushed her (my mother) back with certain things. I would air her dirty laundry out to family to hopefully embarass her so she would stop treating me like a doormat. That theory quickly ended. Recently she has been setting me up to fail as an adult. In grade school I had at least 10 different teachers reccommend that I be evaluated and treated for attention deficit disorder. My mother never took me. I asked many times but she still refused. She has always said i needed to study more or that i just didnt care about school at all. It wasnt a condition, it was me that was the problem. It has gotten so bad that I cannot sit an any type of college class, thus leaving me with no career options. She depleats my finances so that going on my own to a doctor is not an option. Nor can i afford to not work to attend an appt. The area I live in is so expensive that I can not live on my own. I cannot even make enough to move in with roommates. What liitle money I have left is given to my mother as "rent" the amount that she demands leaves me with less than 100 dollars to last for two weeks. I am not allowed to eat their food. I must buy my own. If my mother doesnt like my selection, she throws it away... taking yet even more of my money. She has taken my television away from me(that i paid for) as well as my personal computer. If i do not give in to her demands, i am punished like a five year old. Not too long ago I was watching a movie on netflix through the nintendo wii. Afterward she hid the console and controllers saying that i wasnt allowed to use it because it i didnt buy it. I am reaching the end of my sanity. I have no family i can stay with. I have no friends. Most everyone agrees that she is a toxic person but will never defend me to her face or help me in any way. A few years ago I joined the military. it seemed to be my only way out. the only thing she could not control.I was discharged less than a year into my contract due to an injury. that was 2 1/2 years ago. unfortunately I am back to where i was. I am literally stuck here with nowhere to go, and no life. I feel as if the world is passing me by. I do not know what to do.

[anglesey34]

tHERE IS SO MANY WAYS THIS COULD GO. fOR ONE THING SHE SAYS YOURE NOT add. MAYBE SHE IS ONE OF THOSE THSAT WONT ADMIT THAT SHE HAS A CHILD WITH A FLAW. SOME PARENTS WONT ADMIT IT, IT MAKES THEM FEEL LIKE THEY GAVE BIRTH TO A CHILD WITH A FLAW AND THEN IT MAKES THEM APPEAR LIKE A FIALURE. THIS MAY NOT BE RIGHT WITH HER, MAYBE SHE HAS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ON HER MIND. BUT IF TEACHERS MENTION THAT YOU AREE add, THEN YOU MORE THAN LIKELY ARE.

WOMENWITHADHD.COM IS A GOOD SITE TO COME TO. i NEVER KNEW ABOUT ADD UNTIL 15 YEARS AGO. iM NOT MEDICATED AT THIS TIME BUT iM TRYING L5HTP RECENTLY TO FIGURE A MEDICINE FREE WAY TO TREAT IT

SHE SOUNDS TO BE A CONTROLLING PERSON. SOMETIMES WHEN SOMEONE IS MAD, AND FEELS HELPLESS IN CONTROLLING SOMEONE, THEN THEY TAKE PRIVAGLES AWAY TO CONTROL OR HURT THE OTHER PERSON. WHEN YOU MENTIONED THAT YOU MADE HER LOOK BAD BY AIRING HER DIRTY LAUNDRY........BAD MOVE ON YOUR PART BUT i UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DID IT.

yOU FELT VERY DOMINATED AND LIKE YOU DIDNT HAVE ANY CHOICE AND YOU DID WHAT EVER YOU THOUGHT WOULD HURT HER AND MAKE HER OPEN HER EYES AND START TO TREAT YOU BETTER. THIS DID NOT WORK OUT THAT WAY. NOW SHE IS MADDER AT YOU PROBABLY

yOPU NEED TO SIT AND TALK. ITS STILL YOUR MOTHER AND YOURE STILL HER DAUGHTER. THIS CAN BE SUCH A GOOD RELATIONSHIP. DAUGHTERS AND MOTHERS SHOULD LOVE EACH OTHER.......... BUT I HAVE KNOWN MOTHERS THAT DONT TREAT THEIR KIDS WITH RESPECT

SHE IS TRYING TO KEEP YOU IN HER CONTROL BY TAKING ALL THAT MONEY AND THINGS. YOU HAVE TO BE ABLOE TO HAVE SOME THINGS AT THE HOUSE. YOU NEED THINGS TO USE FOR SOME LEISIRE TIME LIKE A TV OR COMPUTER. i GUESS SOME PEOPLE CANT AFFORD THEM BUT AS LONG AS THEYRE AT THE HOUSE SHE MIGHT AS WELL LET YOU SHARE THGEM

FOR THE FOOD BEING THROWN OUT, THIS IS GOING TOO FAR. i CANT THINK OF A REASON i WOULD NOT LET MY CHILDREN DINE WITH US. SHE IS SO CONTROLLING. ARE YOU TELLING US EVERYTHING. DO YOU ACT OUT BADLY? IF SO THEN SHE MIGHT HAVE SOME KIND OF REASON FOR THIS, BUT AS IT SOUNDS YOU SOUND MATURE. i DONT KNOW HOW TO FIGURE WHAT YOU CAN DO TO GET THINGS IN CONTROL AS LONG AS YOU DONT HAVE ANY MONEY. yOU HAVE NO WAY TO GET AN APARTMENT WITH NO MONEY. DONT YOU HAVE ANY CLOSE FRIENDS THAT CAN LET YOU STAY WITH THEM? iS THERE A CHURCH NEAR THERE THAT WILL HELP YOU. dO YOU DRIVE WHERE IS YOUR dAD DURING THIS. ANY SIBLINGS. SOMEONE HAS TO SIT AND LISTEN TO THIS WITH BOTH OF YOU

MAYBE IF YOU COULD GET A MENTAL HEALTH SPECIALIST TO HELP YOU, THIS IS IF YOU CAN USE THE ADD THING. MAYBE THERE IS ASSISTANCE IN THE WELFARE DEPARTMENT. ITS WORTH A LOOK INTO IF NOTHING ELSE WORKS

IF YOU CAN STAY WITH SOMEONE FOR A MONTH, YOU CAN COME UP WITH A SM,ALL DEPOSIT FOR EVEN A SMALL APARTMENT, BUT ITS MUCH CHEAPER TO SHARE LIVING ARRANGEMENTS WITH A RESPONSIBLE PERSON. i HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU HONEY

[vemados]

highligth these words, copy and paste to microsoft word then print this. Your mother needs to see this asap.

[sceley]

re enlist in the military. even if you have not fully recovered, they have plenty of jobs.

thanks for your service!

[banys]

You need to talk to her about how you feel.

[kyledyr]

Girl.....MOVE OUT! You're 25...you should be out there having fun, not being controlled by an insanely over protective mother! If the area you live is too expensive to live on your own...move somewhere else!

[francisco]

Honey MOVE now!!!! You have to soon!!! Tell her your done with it! Get a bank account she can't get to and move on. She will get over at some point. If not who cares!!

[victorio83]

move, steal her money and fly away, far away, and start a new beginning, in europe or asia, if you really feel like you have nowhere to go, then this means you have reached rock bottom, morals don't mean anything, and you have no future, so I say, kick down the door and find a new path. I once was in the bottom, but I left home, lived in the streets in an even more poor country than the U.S. but I'm 25 now, with a great career with Porsche as a automotive technician, but the road wasn't easy, but now that I have everything I want, my life has never been sweeter

[hillocke]

You need to get out of your mother's house. You need to show you are an adult
-- Keep your job. Find a place to live and maybe a room mate. Work out the finances. Save up your money (sell your TV and what ever it takes).
Move out. Stop complaining, making excuses, and doing nothing about the situation.
Your mom isn't going to change, you need to step up.

[collyer]

How does she "deplete" your finances? You're 25, you should have your own bank account without your mother's name on it.

If you don't like the amount of rent she charges, it's time to get a job, or two, or three, save money into your own bank account, then move out. Get a room mate, or two, or three, to cut down on expenses. If you cannot afford the area you live in, then MOVE. You generally don't have to go far to get to a cheaper area.

If your story is true, sounds to me like you just like to make excuses for your situation. Time to become the adult that you are and make adult like decisions.