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[tredway]

I am 30 yr old woman who has a family of her own and my mother lives down the road from me and takes care of my disabled brother. She is single and has always depended on us kids to help her with my brother. Since she lives in the same town as me, I feel it's my duty to help her by sometimes running errands for her and picking up meds etc, especially when she can't get out easily (my disabled brother is handicapped physically and is hard to get around town). I am the first person she calls when she needs something and she recently called me to pick up meds for my brother on an evening I was in the middle of dinner. I got a little upset with her because it was such an inconvenience and that had made the 3rd day in a row I had been asked to either babysit him or run an errand, so I told her I would pick it up first thing in the morning. After that she made comments like beggars can't be choosers and I'll get what I can take which made me mad because she was acting like I always giver her grief for helping her which is the complete opposite! Recently, she has been super depressed due to some issue with my sister in law and that has affected her attitude and how much I want to be around her, so recently she made the comment I am only texting because that's the only way my family will talk to me (which is completely untrue). I am frustrated at my mother and think she is acting horribly and I'm tired of her trying to guilt me into doing things for her. What can I do to help this situation?

[urian27]

I would just give it a day or two, and then go to her house and sit down and have a discussion about it. Apologize even if you did nothing wrong, and maybe she will see that she over reacted.
... hope this helps...

[montgomery69]

That's how Old people are, I can totally understand.
Just tell her that you need time for yourself, you might need a break.

[alburt]

Move you live to close.3000 miles should do.

[banys]

It certainly seems like you are fed up and frustrated. You have probably tried this before, but it would be a good idea to do again. Let your mom know simply how you feel..that you are more than willing to help her, but a "guilt trip" is not helping. You can set some ground rules with your mom, saying that she needs to give you more notice than calling you at the last minute, expecting you to help. You can also bring up the point that you are not the only individual in the family that is capable of helping her. Although you may live the closest, that does not mean it is convienient, as you have already found out. So try the open and honest approach, and make sure she is able to give you feedback. If you feel like she is being stubborn or unfair, let her know that you just need a break, and then she will have to face the rest of the family without you. This may be hard at first, but i think it will make a difference in the end. Hope this helps! if you feel like you juet need someone to talk to about this, you can always call the Boystown National Hotline to offer you more support. Until then, please take acare