I have A Mental Illness?

[eoforwic]

I have had many therapists , I'm 21 years old now. Last therapist put a restraining order on me.
Anyways, my last therapist said I have a personality disorder but wouldn't tell me which one it is so I'm here to figure out what she was onto.
Here are my sever symptoms that I have been struggling with since I was a child

- Do not Trust anyone, not my family not my friends not even animals.
-Have extreme anger but keep it all inside, rage is at my core
-I don't care about anyone else but myself, and I cannot feel guilt or remorse for anything Ive done wrong
- I am obsessed with horror movies/ crime investigation/ murder/ gore/ violence
- I prefer being alone, I have no friends
- I wear a mask to everyone around me to make them think I'm a really good person
- I have no idea what I want to do with my life
- I have an urge to break laws/rules (been this way since i was a little girl)
- I am constantly bored with life and feel empty inside
- I can form friends/relationships fast, but they never last long. I get bored
- I blame everyone else for my misery , I blame humanity and the universe, I have hate in my heart.
- I feel no empathy and will give no mercy to anyone
- I don't feel anything besides anger and depression and I fake every emotion when Im around people.
- I view people as objects/positions

Could this be BPD? or ASPD? my therapist said she does not want to tell me. No therapy is working for me. Im just lost.

Can someone please help me out, what does this sound like to you. All the symptoms I provided I feel to the extreme. I am never happy.

What can be the cure for me to feel stuff others feel?.


What personality Disorder do I have, I knew I was different from the beginning since i was small, but I just couldn't pin point what it is exactly. I also have this deep urge to eliminate anyone who pisses me off or clean the world of its sins, and lately this urge has been growing rapidly.I also use to bite my dog really hard to make him cry and pull cats tails and hang my dog over the stairs and i was quite a bully to my younger brother and authority figures during my younger days.


If this helps, I was also emotionally and physically abused as a child.

[elkan80]

You are definitely a sociopath/psychopath.

[tredway]

When parents abuse there kids they think oh they will forget in a week or so but they don't....I say you've held a childhood grudge and now you've just held on it and it consumed your life... If UR parents or care taker from your child hood is alive try to have peace with them..

[langford59]

Too me, it sounds like a few things.

- O.D.D. (oppositions defiance disorder)
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Anger problems (Sorry I can't really think of a specific disorder at the moment)
- Maybe traces of PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder)

I'm not a licensed psychiatrist, these are just my thoughts based on the info you posted.

I'd find a new psych, one that won't hide things from you. You have a right to know about your treatment.

I'd also suggest looking more into the things I listed above, maybe do a little research online...

Best of luck to you! :)

[gideon]

You need serious help lady, it seems the abuse you suffered has cause this. Tell everything to a doctor they'll soon get you the right help