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Is this a good letter? I was supposed to write a letter for my class to some type of Government.?

Is this a good letter? I was supposed to write a letter for my class to some type of Government.?

Postby eadweald71 » Fri Dec 30, 2011 5:01 am

Regarding the shooting and death of Officer Deriek Crouse at Virginia Tech University we would like to suggest a few plans of action in order to ensure there is a safer environment at Virginia Tech University and perhaps other schools and places as well. More safety hazards are appropriate when a tragedy like this happens. We need to address them to make sure they don’t happen again. So we’ve established a list of problems and solutions in order to improve school safety. Some major problems are the possession of firearms which puts civilians’ safety in danger. More metal detectors and random searches is one solution to this problem. We are also concerned about the mental state of the students of college/university. The reason we are concerned about the mental state of students is because the killer of Officer Deriek Crouse, Ross Truett Ashley also killed himself. Counselors are needed to help these students remain sane and safe to be around. Lastly, the safety of officers is just as important as those of a student or civilians. So it is suggested that all officers take safety training classes so if ever they are confronted with danger they are prepared. We very appreciate the time taken to read this letter of concern.
eadweald71
 
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Is this a good letter? I was supposed to write a letter for my class to some type of Government.?

Postby norwyn » Fri Dec 30, 2011 5:02 am

See revision:

Regarding the shooting and death of Officer Deriek Crouse at Virginia Tech University, we would like to suggest a few plans of action in order to promote a safer environment at Virginia Tech University and other schools across the nation.

Heightened safety procedures are appropriate when a tragedy like this happens. We need to enhance current safety procedures to facilitate a safer school campus. So we’ve established a list of problems and solutions in order to improve school safety.

Some major problems are the possession of firearms which puts civilians’ safety in danger. More metal detectors and random searches is one solution to this problem.

We are also concerned about the mental state of the students of college/university. The reason we are concerned about the mental state of students is because the killer of Officer Deriek Crouse, Ross Truett Ashley committed suicide following the violent rampage.

Counselors are needed to help these students remain mentally stable. Students who do not appear to be mentally stable should be referred to the counseling center to receive help.

Finally, the safety of officers is just as important as those of students or civilians. We suggest all officers take safety training classes to prepare them for potential emergencies.

We very appreciate the time taken to read this letter of concern.
norwyn
 
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