It's OK for my cousin to move out having her parent's permission, but with mum, it's not OK for me to move out?

[hanan]

My cousin is 20 years old and she' studying in Spain, her parents had a rough time, her dad (my uncle) went to jail and lost a lot of money to get bail, lawyers and solicitors etc. My cousin asked her mum that if she found a job in Spain, could she live there, considering she'll save up to buy a small flat. Her mum said yes, even after all the hardship her family went through. Her mum is a house wife and my uncle is finding it hard to look for a job, but they manage to let her move out.

However, with my mum, she's got a shop, but divorced. My dad now lives in Shropshire. I'm older than my cousin, but when I asked my mum to move out I'm 24yrs old, she asked me how will she cope when there's mortgage to be paid, we live together and should do everything together, and asks me why I want to do everything myself when it's just me, her and my sister? If my cousin's parents can live with little money than us, then my mum would be able to cope, wouldn't she. She does earn more money than her brother and sister in law.

Am I missing something here?

[demarco]

Yeah, you're missing something - you are missing A LOT. Your cousin's family doesn't seem to care if they spend money they don't have. Your family feels differently.

Good grief. Don't ever look at how other people choose to spend money and think you know *anything* about their lives - *or* about their financial commitments. You have NO IDEA about your mom's financial obligations relative to her income, nor the uncertainties of her income. And apparently no idea how much money it takes to set up an apartment, nor the difficulties of finding a job.

Honestly - with the argument you are making here - you sound a LOT younger than 24. This is the worst economy in decades, and you don't seem to "get" today's financial realities, which mean that a lot of what people USED to be able to do is not financially sustainable anymore.

[coinleain]

If you are 24 years old you can make your own decisions and just tell them you are moving out. When I was 24 I had been married for 5 years and had my own home and a baby. Obviously you are working and can afford to move into your own flat and pay rent etc? Good Luck.

[archy]

If you are 24, have a job and a reasonable income you can move out whenever you want
you don't need your Mum's permission to move out.

I've got 3 sons, 19, 23 and 27 and the eldest moved out when he was 24,
once he had enough money for a deposit for a flat of his own
I'd never hold my sons back by asking them to stay at home.
It's your life and your future and hopefully your mum can acknowledge this too

[dallen47]

maybe its just because she is used to be around you so if you upped and left she would feel alone. but she does need to realize that there comes a time when you have to leave and live your own life you could try telling her this and explaining your not going forever just to live your life for yourself.