Money problem, what can I do, how can I surviive living pay check to pay check ?

[achimelech51]

I take home: $2,200 pm pay, mortgage is $ 950, $ 475 car, $ 100 car insur. $ 50 cable, $100 ele., $30 phone, train to work $ 200, I pay these bills and other stuff from my checks. This is excluding: food, gas for the jeep (big tank) propane, pet food. My husband unemployment check is $ 1000 pm. it expires next week and he's only working 10-12 hrs pw. part time (yes you are allowed to work part time on unemployment)
To save $$ on the more expensive train ticket + cost of gas, I stay at my mother in laws mon- thur and come home friday till monday morning. So I have no choice but to eat food at Mcdonalds and stuff but I stick to the dollar menu or grab two hot dogs for dinner and I bring lunch on train enough for 2-3 days. (I'd bring more food from home but I have to bring my change of clothes for work + sleep all week)
The problem is he thinks there should be "more money" in the bank every week. His last unemployment check car stuff: new battery, spark plugs, whatever $ 400 out of $500 unemlpoyment check. The gas tank is costing $70 per week to fill. He doesn't take money out, only whips out debit card freely. Then comes big quetion: "how much money is in the bank" ? When he says it's probably some purchase that we probably don't need. Last week food for the WEEK: I paid $ 20.00 for food including lunch and dinner for the week. In one day he spent $ 30 on wendys, chinese + dunkin donuts. This almost $ 20 per day he's tossing around sometimes.
I am at wits end. I told him today: do the bills next month, He got upset.
He has no concept of money, he thinks my check will cover everything when unemployment runs out. He told me after you pay the bills we only need a few dollars get by for other stuff, So me working part time is okay. I am only home weekends 8 days a month. Home is in MY NAME and I am hardly ever here. The healthcare is $250 excluding medicine out of my check also.
I just bought a no contract cricket phone at $ 25 per month, quailty not great but at least I hv internet at night, something to do, mom in law dont have pc.
Maybe I shouldn't have bought phone, I could save $ 25 per month. We have one car between us, I cant afford another. Even if I could, I couldn't swing the weekly gas, so I stay close to my job, less money toward gas every week. I only buy 'end of season' clothes. I don't spend alot on myself because I don't have a lot. And that dam walmart. Go in for food and there's the other 20 other items "we need".
How do you get through to someone who has no concept and no regard for money ?
I really don't know what to do anymore and his unemployment runs out next week. Oh happy day.

[dallen47]

Cut up the debit cards (his and yours to be fair).
When some people use plastic it's not like using real money.
Start the cash envelope system.
I'm not familiar with it, but you put cash in evelopes and when you run out, you run out.
Perhaps google: Dave Ramsey envelope method.

[ahanu]

A lot of people can handle joint accounts, but it's not right for everyone. Consider having different checking accounts for different types of expenses: one checking account for fixed shared expenses like the mortgage, insurance, cable, electric, etc. that runs off a strict budget, another checking account for your discretionary spending, and a third for your husband's discretionary spending. You could put the same amount of discretionary money in your respective discretionary accounts each pay period. That way, you don't feel like you're getting jipped, and your husband doesn't feel like he's being emasculated by having his wife tell him what he can and can't buy.

[yago]

seperate bank accounts.

Ditch the cable, cut it off completely.

get rid of the credit cards

sell EVERYTHING you dont need and live minimalist.



if all else fails you may need to kick this guy to the curb

[jaren12]

what's kind of funny (not hilarious) about your question is that most people live either paycheck to paycheck or with no paycheck at all and yet they survive. Then I note that your expenses are too high for you so maybe you either thought you were earning a lot, thought your money would go further, thought that if you spent more then your promotions would be better, or had a big ego in in spending more than you earned. So whatever you thought, now you have to cut your expenses.

On a $26,400 yearly income (in most cases that's not even a management position) and you should be paying $199 or less monthly on a vehicle but instead you are paying $475 an additional car insurance because of the high price of that car. Sell that car and buy an appropriate one for you, maybe one around $14,000 or a used car (like 3 years old). And you have a mortgage yet you don't have the income to own even a bungalow (usually that takes two incomes and one must earn over $35,000 a year) and yours very well could be the next one to be foreclosed upon. Along with mortgages come maintenance costs and home insurance increases and ordinances and higher water and electric costs so you've gotten yourself into a pickle by wanting more than you can afford.

A rental here for a one bedroom (for two people) would be maybe $600 at most. Right there between the car, electric and home I've saved you over $935 just off the top of my head. I didn't count in your husband's unemployment check (in my figures) so it looks if you downsize then the both of you can survive ok.

Your husband appears to be overspending, but he's not here asking how to solve his problem so you'll have to deal with that, hide your money and let him go under. Depends on your age but some people take a higher paycheck to pay on their own health insurance and then never have health insurance so it depends on how healthy you are and how much in need you are for that $250 a month. Car accidents are solved thru PIP insurance (required in my state and maybe your state) and thru suing so unless you have something in your DNA that you're expecting to become ill, well you can do without the medical insurance for a while.

Here Verizon FIOs used to start off with the first year at $99 and then rises to $120 a month, while my dialup costs me $12.95 a month saving me $70 or more a month, that's $840 a year (a bunch).

These days the economy is real poor and no one is buying new clothes, so stop buying. Also stop going to Walmart. "YOU" should do all the food buying and have him agree to what you give him to eat daily. Food stamps used to give out $1.50 per day and now it gives $3 a day. That one meal he's splurging on at $4 means he gets no other meal for that day....think about that...make him aware and have him think about that.

So you need to cut some expenses. Do it promptly. If he doesn't get a job quickly then it very well might be time to sell your home. If you've not been living there for 10 years or more then what you spent when living there would mean you were only paying rent so nothing really lost there, just somehow save to move into an apartment, here starting that process would be $1500.

Why doesn't $6,040 sound like too much money to you for gas/train only? that's like 1/4 of your check.

You could sit down and figure your bills on a yearly basis, total them and then subtract that amount from what you're earning and then tell him he's got to come up with the balance legally or some extreme changes will have to be made pronto. Then look for a buyer for your house thru a realtor.

[treasigh]

One of your biggest problems here is him. You said: "He told me after you pay the bills we only need a few dollars get by for other stuff, So me working part time is okay." This tells me that he probably isn't seriously looking for work, and he seems to enjoy staying home doing nothing while you go out and earn the money to support him. Also, he must know you are broke and he goes out and spends $30 on junk food in ONE DAY? He stays at the house and could have bought groceries with that money and cooked healthy food for himself.

I agree that you need to find a way to cut your expenses, but you truly need to make him see the light. He is one of your biggest problems. He's an adult and should be able to realize that money only goes so far. You need a man, not a child.

[amdt57]

The problem is he thinks there should be "more money" in the bank every week.

So why don't you tell him, if he got off his a$$, and got a full time job there would be more money in the bank??? If he's unwilling or unable to do this, then you need to drastically cut back your lifestyle. Dump the house, and get a cheaper place to live. Sell the car, and buy a cheaper one for cash. No more cable tv, or internet.

No doubt you bought these things - house, car, etc when you both had full time jobs. If that is not gonna resume some time in the near future, you need to make serious adjustments. Your husband (and maybe you), seem to be having a difficult time understanding this.