Mother/Mother in law is she attention seeking and controlling or something else?

[danil70]

So basically my boyfriends mother (potential mother in law) has caused about 4 family arguments about ridiculous stuff. First we thought it was because we werent doing enough around the house but then we realised it wasnt that as we always help out and clean up after ourselves. we have only ever had one cooked meal together. there has been about 4 major blow ups including her yelling at my bf to even hitting him the other day.

i think she just causes all of these arguments because she likes the attention she gets during the argument and then a few days later because we are forced to give her attention and talk to her to keep the peace. He is an only child so i understand her need to protect him. i recently moved in with them and i know its very hard this whole situation but it has been 3 months of me in a new state!! i am about 1000km away from home and living out of one suitcase.

her and her husband ( who rarely ever gets involved and has never said a bad word to me) feel i need to get a job! i have been trying to get a job very hard! his dad doesnt have a problem with me well not that i can tell we have always had jokes and chats all the time but i cant do that with his mother because i feel like she doesnt like me!

the other major problem is she is a massive control freak! and when things dont go her way. for example when my bf put a knife in the dishwasher she cracked the shits because she didnt want it in there in case it melted.. then he explained he done it before and thought it would be ok to which she snapped back and said NO dont do it i dont want it in there.. my boyfriend works in radio and all she ever has to talk about is that! thats all she ever asks about his day! she never once asks how our day together was or anything we did its always about radio.. she was the one that got him into radio because they did a community show together.. i feel like maybe shes still living her radio dream through him?

and lastly everytime there is a fight all she ever says is how theres no communication and how he never talks to her anymore.. but we always make the effort to go and talk and watch tv with her and the husband at night time.. and when all of this was discussed the husband stated that he didnt really need that.. so its just her? she also mentioned that my bf feeds me attention and does everything for me and i never do anything for him.. yet she doesnt see me cleaning and cooking his lunch and dinner most days.. is she jealous and upset because we are young and in love and she doesnt have that anymore? she has been sick the last few days and my boyfriend didnt want to wake her and she made a comment that no one came to give her a water or anything.. and now i have just caught the same bug from her and she made a rude comment saying "i hope you get more sympathy than i did" we bought her flowers when she was sick and she never once said thankyou.. is she made im getting attention from my bf cos im sick?

what can we do? do we just keep feeding the attention? were very close to moving out but cant financially do that yet? is she attention seeking and controlling? any help or suggestions would be awesome!! thanks!