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[geol19]

I love this girl more than anything else in the world, but yesterday evening as I came over to see her she came out to me. She came out to her family the night before so this wasn't an excuse to break up, the girl of my dreams is gay. At first I found it funny and thought we should be friends, but today..more and more I realize that I am not going to marry this girl or have her kids and start a family anymore, or have be the son in law to her awesome father (my boss) and terrific mother. So all day today and all last night I have been having panic attacks and barely able to breathe. Her dad gave me the day off and said he understands as it is hard for all of them and they feel the same way that I do about this, but differently as that's their daughter.

We agreed to be friends and hang out just as much, and at first I was cool with that and admittedly some part of me was happy to be able to see other women without feeling like I'm playing mind games with my ex. But today I'm breaking down. I love this girl, and all those slight moments of wishful thinking are gone and all I want is my girlfriend back but iknow I can't have her, nor will I ever be able to have her ever again.

I wanted her family at my wedding, I loved every one of them. I was with this girl for 4 years and had enough time to make friends with everyone in her famiy. They were the family I never had, and I felt like a part of them. I have never been so happy being with a woman, and never felt so happy being with a woman's family.

I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. Just yesterday morning I was waking up enjoying the sunny spring day here in california, going to work for my boss who I respect so much and enjoy being around, all was great my life was perfect. Then the evening comes and everything is different now, my life doesn't feel the same anymore. Everything feels like it has changed. They were my family. Now there is a gaping hole in my life. I don't know what to do

[hob97]

Yes 4 years can be hard to forget someone that you love. But there is nothing you can do to change this. Be best to stay friends. Move on now. You have lost time already. Find a different girl and move forward with your life. Hope everything works out!

[baigh75]

have a threesome

[benon]

I guess I don't understand why you feel you need to write off her family... You say that you always wanted them at your wedding, well nothing's saying you cannot invite them, the relationship will just be different. Instead of her dad walking her down the aisle to you, her dad can be sitting there in the audience, and her and her family can be there supporting you when you find the right girl. Just because you will not be romantically involved with her, doesn't mean you have to write her out of your life.

[adelphos]

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time. I suggest that at least for the time being, you don't stay in contact with your ex girlfriend. It sounds good to stay friends, but right now all that would do is hurt you. You need to be away from her for a while in order to move on. After you're over her, then maybe you could be friends again. You sound like a really great guy and someone who is going to be a really good Husband and Father someday. Whoever gets you will be a lucky woman! Hang in there, good things will come your way :)

[muireach]

That's hard. But i've gone through the same thing. I wanted to sit inna room and just cry all day. The thought is hard to fathom. Just don't result into drugs or alcohol, it can be addicting. Try to be more social. Go out with friends, visit your family, things like that. California?! Hit some nice beaches. Look for pretty girls. Though i know, it can't cover your LOVE for her. That part, your gonna have to be doing something ALL THE TIME to not think about it. And time, will heal you. I have a date tomorrow, yet all I can think about is my ex. But you'll grow out of it trust me. Everything happens for a reason. And don't mind seeking help. Therapy isn't just for crazy people!!!

Love to you, man, it's hard, but you'll get there, trust me.

[darik2]

I think the main thing to do is to let her know that you are there for her. You may not be able to get her back but you could still be friends. Worse comes to worse, you guys will fade and you will forget. And right now that might be what's best for you, to forget about her. You need to forgive and forget. Like that old saying, 'If you love something, set it free'. I know it might not feel like it, but you will eventually forget about this and meet a girl that loves you right back. Now, your other option could be to stick around. You love her and her family(they must be really upset) and you should be there for all of them(try to talk about it with them, it could help). Keep up your relationship and make it known to this dream girl that you still love her and you want to be friend... Who knows? Maybe she just might come back to you, it's possible right?