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[hewlett]

My brother-in-law has gotten himself into a very messy situation with a young redneck alcoholic girl he's been dating for a couple of years. She has one daughter with her husband who she lied and told all of us was her ex, and she and my brother-in-law have had one abortion and now have a one year old together. She and her husband have nothing in writing for their separation or custody of their child. Her husband is a Marine who has been deployed or redeployed for most of the drama. He is alledgedly abusive, and she claims to have left him because of that and infidelity (not much room for her to talk on that one). She has lived with my brother-in-law since September '09. My brother-in-law has finished school and has talked about moving up here with "his family." His girlfriend's husband is back-and-forth on wanting her back, wanting to give up his rights to their child and wanting all the rights to their child. Can she legally move over a thousand miles away with their child? The fact that my brother-in-law hasn't legally established himself as father of their child (our niece) is a whole other matter...

[ludano17]

Well, first off, he is almost certainly going to have to sue for paternity before he can do anything. Here is a law article on that process: http://www.slaterkennon.com/articles/establishing-paternity/ If that is proven, her alcoholism could be a driving factor in terms of custody if you can prove that she is a threat to the child. Has she had duis, etc? This talks about issues in child custody: http://www.divorcelawyersoceanside.com/articles/issues-in-child-custody/ As far as moving out of state pre-custody hearing, legally either parent can do it-but it looks bad. Here is one last article that talks about leaving the state pre-custody agreement: http://www.divorceattorneylafayette.com/articles/divorce-and-leaving-the-state-with-your-child/ So, yeah, you need to figure out if she is actually his ASAP and then move from there. I don't know that all the infidelity will even matter in court as it is on both sides. In the end the judge will rule on the side of safety for the child.

[bedyw25]

It sounds like brother-in-law needs to get his head on straight, in particular in regard to establishing paternity of his own child, because guess what? IF she was married to his man when she gave birth, then that man is the legal father, and under NC law his name should be on the birth certificate, so if it's not, then she broke the law--likely by lying. IF she is married, they've created a huge mess. As it stands now, BIL has no legal rights to that child at all.

But moving on to your actual question...If there is no custody order in place, then she can move with the child (that's not illegal), but the father can very easily obtain a court order requiring her to return the child to the state, and if that happens, it's going to hurt her in a custody case (she could potentially lose custody over it, and she definitely would lose custody if she doesn't inform the father of where the child will be).

EDIT TO ADD THIS:
Did she give birth in a hospital? If so, the hospital files the birth certificate and they're required to do it within 5 days. Regardless...it doesn't sound like you can believe a word she says, so who knows what the real situation is. I feel bad for these poor little children caught up in the middle of this. I hope you guys can talk some sense into BIL real soon.