Review opinion piece?

[shipley]

Famous people are not good role models. Famous people today do encourage negative things. Reason why famous people are bad role models would be that they promote drug use and bad behavior. These are important reason why famous people are bad role model for young adults.

Many famous people promote drug use. Celebrities highly influence young adults. When young adults see their role models like Charlie Sheen using drugs they tend to copy. They see their role models having fun, abusing drugs and copy them, not knowing the consequences. Young adults imitate their role models and abuse drugs like them, which results in them severely hurting themselves. Celebrity role models promote drug abuse and addiction, making adolescents believe these lifestyles to be cool and exciting. In conclusion, many famous people promote drug abuse.


Another reason famous people are bad role model is that they promote bad behavior. Most teenagers have rappers as their role models who encourage negative behavior. Rappers promote offensive language in their music. Many famous people break the law showing. Teenagers follow their role models who break law, rebelling against laws. Celebrity role models promote behaviors that are not always positive for teenagers. They promote teenagers acting immaturely and going against authority. Furthermore, famous people promote negative activities among young people.

In conclusion, famous people are not good role models. Famous promote drug abuse and addiction. Famous people also promote bad behavior among young people. Famous people influence young people negatively.

[maddox]

Really good but it seems like you use "famous people" a lot in the first and last paragraphs. Use words like celebrities or these people
Hope I helped :)