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[breasal]

Here is a complicated situation. Basically we live in a home adjacent to my wife's grandfather. He is very wealthy. It's kind of a complicated living arrangement because we sort of live in a more modern home on a suburban lot, but his is an old farm house and his land is worth a fortune... Anyway, we have lived like this for 15 years...

So anyway, he's getting up there in age (early 90's). MY GOODNESS the man calls us several times a day needing all kinds of favors. "lift this, I need this, fix this etc." It is every day seriously. I've sometimes have spent many hours installing window unit A/C systems into his home, fixing plumbing, fixing toilets, fixing cars, fixing his RV, inflating tires, caulking his entire home, roof repair, lawn mower repair, paint, re-cutting trim boards for the outside of his home, fixing his computer (my trade), giving him free internet, fixing his TV, Satellite.... SERIOUSLY the list goes on and on.

We have always tried to help where we could. Our daughter is 13 and bakes for him desserts at least twice a week....

So anyway, the other day, I was over there fixing a new fleshing pipe in his RV because the old one was leaking. I also put a new sink faucet in it (old one dripped) and a water heater fitting that was dripping........
Afterwards we were inside just chit chatting and he starts showing me (I have no idea why) handwritten bank account amounts and what not. Accounts 1 & 2 had 400k each, account 3,4,5,6 had over 150k in each. (when I say over, there was 167 in one, 159 in the other...)

Then he goes on to show me oil royalty checks that he has where he's getting $1k a month off them, and all kinds of interest checks where he makes $4k a month.

Then he goes on to tell me how he has his daughter's name on all the accounts (mother in law to me). Okay that's fine. I know its her birth right and all. I don't expect anything in inheritance (it would be nice though LOL).

Now the kicker,
My wife just lost (laid off) a job she had for 15 years (just found out yesterday). She's incredibly sad about it. Since I am self employed, my pay varies and its really hard for me to make ends meet. We do have some savings, but it rips at me to see our savings destroyed....

So here I was today working as hard as I possibly could because I realize that I'm going to probably become the sole bread winner... And the phone starts ringing.

He ends up wanting to go to Costco. So I go with him. We buy him some cordless phones and other things in the store. He goes in with me with the cart, then SITS DOWN on the bench, and has me going all over the store as his "go-pher". I fill up the cart, he pays, and I put it in his trunk. Take it out when we get back, and then I go and setup all his cordless phones, unbox, unwrap, put in the batteries, while I'm having anxiety to get back to work... I tell him about his grandaughters job loss and he just called mom-in-law with a "guess what question" and told her...

So after it is all said and done, he's just like "thanks a lot". As I walk back through his acreage to my home, knowing our savings are going to be strained very soon.... Having 5 children with my wife... I just couldn't help but to wonder "Why the heck would a guy with so many millions of dollars, with 1 heir (mom in law) and 1 granddaughter (my wife), not just "hook people up" sometimes?

I mean I'm kind of pissed because I just came from an upbringing of "family helps family". I certainly have put in many hours (MANY HOURS!!!) of favors.

It just kind of pisses me off I guess because if I had his amount of money - living next to my grand daughter and 5 wonderful great grandchildren (they really are wonderful), I just don't understand why he doesn't just "hook us up" a little bit??

I mean, he's not gonna spend it - trust me. I just can't imagine having somebody do favors for hours on end and not be like "why don't you just take this $100 bill" or something like that. Or even $50. Or $20... I get a "thanks a lot".

I'm like "okay" turn and walk through the pasture land with empty pockets wondering how we are gonna make ends meet now.

I just don't know if I should just be honest and say "hey I don't mind helping you out, but seriously its taking from my work and "wife's name" no longer has a job" - "is there any way that you could at least pay for some of my time and labor?".

Of course the flip side of this complication is that I get curious if his "reward" may be to include us in his will and I'd rather not seem like a greedy gubber. LOL.

So anyway, I'm trying to get an outsider's point of view. These things grow over many years and time.

I appreciat

[jomei69]

I understand what you're saying, and if I were in your position, I'd probably be feeling the same way that you are right now. I guess, before I said anything to the grandfather-in-law, I'd have a long and serious talk with my wife and get her take on things, and also with my mother-in-law to see what she has to say. Once I had their take on things, I'd be in a much better position to know what to do. For all you know, this old guy may have said something to your wife somewhere along the line about an inheritance coming her way, or he may have said something to his daughter (your mother-in-law). So don't go flying off the handle until you talk with these two ladies After you've had a talk with both of them, you'll know what you need to do. Whichever way things go, I wish you the best of luck. You're in a very unusual place, someplace where I hope to never find myself!

[kalvin71]

I like the parts where you stress family helping family, and this guy is in his 90's, waaay too old to subsist on his own...and if it were any other 90 something year old with feeble issues, would you be bitching or patting yourself on the back for being such a good samaritan.

since you made it your choice to park yourselves up the crack of his azz , waiting for him to die, the least you can do is the chores....what he's NOT doing is boring you to death , with hard to believe stories of how hard he had to WORK to get all that money...you've been around the property, so you know it didn't grow on trees.

self employment is also your choice...find a job...and tell your wife they don't come one to a customer. Find another one.

[wilbart]

dude, it's truly none of your business how much he has & if he wanted to share that info with you, then he's allowed....but to get back to the point...he probably doesn't speak as quickly as you think, & if he has that sort of investment going then he would truly be considered a thinker...have you even given him time to digest the info that you gave him...could he possibly be thinking since he just showed you all of his 'moneys', that maybe you just blurted this out thinking he would hand you the money...you're jumping to conclusions, & you haven't even lived in the world of your wife not working..he might also assume that your wife & you have some savings put aside since you are living on his land...what I'm concluding is, don't jump to conclusions, & don't expect...ya do what you can for your family...your's & her's & you'll end up getting what you deserve..whatever that may be...if you wanted to get paid for these little jobs you've been doing around the house, ya should've asked prior to this display of his investments, cuz you getting angry & jumping to conclusions right now, only makes you look bad...see what the future pans out for you...don't expect from your grandfather, no matter how much he's got, & take care of your family...OR, are you living there waiting for him to die??

[tahmelapachme33]

Quim Khum Thwat is my hero!

Since your wife is now out of work, perhaps she can help out Gramps.