Suicidal and thought it thru...?

[garbhach65]

i've been feeling really down lately, i'm failing in college, never managed to get a job, nor a gf, never had a best friend, no friends anymore and i feel like a burden to my parents and brother...

i have great parents, but my dad has sometimes talked about how he would like to buy stuff for himself like a new car, or a new tv etc but he can't because he has to maintain me and my brother...

i just started college and it's my second semester and i'm pretty sure i'm gonna get terrible grades, like
2 Fs, maybe 1 A from an easy class and rest either Cs or Bs or lower...

my parents are really making a huge sacrifice to put us both thru college, they rented us an apartment and everything...

but all of this and many other things that i've been building up since childhood like bullies and depression and loneliness just make me feel like a waste...

back in highschool my dad would flip out if i got a B, and now i have no idea how i will tell him that i'm getting 2 Fs... i just freak out by the thought of it

i figure that if i killed myself it would relieve some stress from my parents, financially and they wouldn't have to deal with me anymore (i've been a pretty hard to deal with lately) and i wouldn't have to feel like this anymore...

i think they love me and all but they would eventually get over it right? besides, they still have my brother, which honestly has better hopes in life that i do...

should this be the right course of action... i've thought about many many times...

[aethelbert35]

Don't kill yourself because your parents and brother love and care about you and you would put them through a lot of pain if you killed yourself. And you should find help like a counselor or a pshcologist to help you get through tough times. They help a lot but please don't kill yourself because you are loved. Stay strong.