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[colum]

(UK - England, law ... please don't try applying American law as an answer because you will confuse me further).

I am trying to understand something my ex insisted to both myself and my bestfriend on separate occasions. He was abusive. I left him three months into the pregnancy (pregnant by him obviously). I lost the baby at 20 weeks (5 months).

Two days before I lost the baby he had texted me saying he would surrender all rights to the baby. I spoke with my solicitor who explained to me that by giving up his parental rights he loses all say in what the child does, he loses the right to see the child, but he still has to be financially responsible for the child. If he keeps his parental rights he still has the right to make decisions and see the child, but does not have to do either.

The day following the text saying he wished to surrender parental rights I saw his father. His father was very shocked to learn that my ex would still have to remain financially responsible. My ex then told me that I had forced his hand, that legally he had no choice but to surrender parental rights. He said exactly the same thing, with the same wording, to my bestfriend.

I am trying to understand how that can be right. From what I understand of parental rights law in the UK it can't be, unless my solicitor is wrong ... unfortunately, I can only find American law online though.

I suspect he was simply trying to upset me .. which of course he did .. and that last bit of stress caused the loss of the baby ... but if he was right, I'd like to know. So .... anyone?

[deangelo51]

As the child's father, he can't get out of his parental responsibility by surrendering parental rights. As you discovered, his financial obligations remain. He can say that he wants no contact with his child, and no say in the child's upbringing - so could surrender some rights, but not his financial duty to his child.

What surrendering parental rights is actually about is the situation where the parent or parents of a child feel that they are unable to look after their child, and therefore effectively hand the child over to social services (generally with adoption in mind). In that case they surrender their rights - meaning that they cannot come back later and try to reclaim their child.

[iker]

Possible reasons:

1) Some guys are under the the WRONG impression that by surrendering parental rights they stop being financially responsible for the child. Most of the time their reasoning is based on wrong advice from family and friends with no legal training.

2) Some guys recognize they would be bad parents, and they do the responsible thing by surrendering their right and let you with the possibility of letting your next husband adopt the child.

In your case, most likely the simplest explanation is that he thought he wouldn't be financially responsible. There is nothing indication he's purpose was other than seeking his own benefit.