Can you offer advise or suggestions?

[boyce]

My wife and myself are getting a little bothered by "life situations" that seem to recurred in our lives.

We don't know if it's us or just our imaginations but we have noticed people taking advantage of us, as example:

-Our son-in-law asked to borrow our pressure washer for the weekend, he as yet to return it so I called to ask if he was finished with it and he said" yeah, I'm done when will you come and pick it up?" In our minds he should return what is borrowed, he said he came one-way and we should come the other. Am I crazy to think he should return it?

-My father called me last night to ask what we were doing and I said we were going for dinner, he then asked if he could join us and I said sure. As the bill came he said he wanted to stretch his legs so he and his wife got up and the check came and it was "ALL" on one check but he was outside so we paid the entire bill, he never said a thing and just left. I called him the next day and told him about the "mix-up" and he said that he thought I told the waitress to put it all on one check. So the "cha-ching" was $95 all on us.

-A neighbors riding lawn mower broke last week, he came over to ask to borrow ours. After he cuts his 2 acres he parked it in his barn. I was then forced to "call him" to ask for it back and he said to come and get it as if it's no big deal not to return it and it's now my obligation to cpome and get my property he borrowed.

Okay, am I crazy or is this how people are in the world these days? Am I wrong to be a little offended by these bahviors?

your thoughts please....PLEASE!!!

[chadburne48]

people are using you like a doormat stand up for yourself.

[beacher]

Look, seems to me you need to communicate to these thoughtless people the conditions in which you will lend your tools or go out to dinner. These are your friends, neighbors and relatives so it might be hard to just cut them off.. When anyone wants to borrow your stuff, just make it clear that they need to return it, clean and in good working order within a few days. If you go out to dinner, make it clear your going "Dutch" then make sure the waitress knows this. If anyone does not respect your rules on this, just have the guts to tell them "NO" and the reasons, ie.. they will not return items on time and you need your tools and equipment for your use.. Then the onus of not coming around or visiting will be on them. It just seems that these people do not show you any respect. Time to lay down the law and demand they change their behavior or keep your stuff and money to yourself..

[nann]

The thing you seem to have missed in life, if you do not stick up for yourself people will run right over you. When someone borrows something of yours and they come to pick it up, tell them that when they are finished with it, you expect them to return your property and it needs to be clean as well. This shows their gratitude for using your stuff. If you go pick it up all the time, then they will not respect you and see you as a push over with no boundaries and will use you as much as they can. You should look online about "Personal Bounadaries", because you are allowing everyone to walk all over you.