Clashing with my fiance's Catholic family?

by **forde** » Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:36 pm

I'm not being disrespectful or confrontational with them. Which is pretty good considering my fiance's family has always looked down on me for not being Catholic (I'm a Methodist). Of course this has escalated since we've become engaged.

My fiance is religious but not as in to religion as his family. He doesn't expect me to convert to Catholicism and he's fine with it. His family already asked me and I said I had no plans to convert. Which as you can imagine that went over well.... Then of course they freaked out because any potential children would be exposed to protestant religion as well.

Right now we're planning to get married in his church. I'm more religious than the majority of my family. So a protestant wedding isn't as important to my family as a Catholic wedding would be to his family. And I've been baptized and he's in good standing with the Catholic church so it can be done. I just hope things don't get out of control...

Any suggestions how to deal with my fiance's family? I need to be on good terms with them because they're going to be my in-laws. It shouldn't have been a shock that we're engaged since we've been together five years. But I do get tired of their superior attitudes and judgment just because of my protestant religion.

Thanks for your help!

by **troyes** » Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:39 pm

tl;dr

Burn things

by **wahchintonka48** » Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:40 pm

Yet another stressed relationship from the petty religious differences. It's no wonder atheists have the lowest divorce rate.

by **hewlett** » Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:50 pm

His family is irrelevant.

His opinions and thoughts are all that matters.

When I was Catholic, if my family had an issue with my Protestant fiance, I'd have told them to adapt or stop being a part of my life.

by **nemausus36** » Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:02 pm

You can try a relationship counselor for help

by **unss94** » Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:12 pm

Tell them that your church hasn't sent thousands of people on a murderous onslaught against other human beings, resulting in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent catholics, jews, and muslims.

Then explain that just because you do not answer to the pope, that does not mean you are not a christian, tell them you believe Christ lived, died and rose for your sin, and that as long as someone believes that, they are saved. If they do not accept that tell them that the pharisees also persecuted Jesus and his followers for not believing the same as them. That should shut them up.

by **corcoran42** » Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:14 pm

Well first of all, if you are married in the Catholic Church then your in-laws shouldn't worry about your possible children, because you both must agree that the children will be raised Catholic if your married in the Catholic Church. If they are concerned with you personally, then I suggest you sit down and talk to them about it. However, if you expect them to be open minded you also have to be open minded. I am Catholic and so i would agree with them talking to about converting, but at the end of the day I'm not going to hold it against you just because your not my same religion. I feel that a lot of Catholics misunderstand how we should deal with other religions. I am all for talking to other religions about our faith, but again, we shouldn't hold it against them. Many people ignore what the official teachings of our church are, and they assume they know everything about being Catholic just because they are Catholic. I urge you to look into Catholicism, look at the RCIA system too. However, it's not like if you aren't Catholic you are automatically a bad person and are going to hell. The best way I have heard how we Catholics should look at other religions is this: Everyone is on a path to God, but some routes are more direct than others. Looking at this as a Catholic this would mean living a perfect Catholic life would be the most direct route to God as possible. However, if your Methodist, your still working toward God, just not as efficiently. The point is, you future in-laws are judging you a bit to much, or at least that's what I think.
So as I said, sit down and talk with them. Say right off the bat that you would like to sit down and have a serious talk about religion so you can settle your differences. If you are completely closed to the idea of conversion then there isn't much you can do except to explain what the differences are between you faiths, but focus a lot of the similarities too. At least give the Catholic Church a chance though. Read up on what it's about. If you have any questions I'm here. Another great place to research the Catholic views is here: http://www.catholic.com/.
Regardless of what you chose, always work hard to grow in faith and make sure it takes priority in your life. Always pray, go to mass, and never make excuses to ignore God.
Something else that you need to discuss with your future husband is the fact if a Catholic marries a non-catholic, the Catholic cannot receive communion (have him ask his Priest about this because I am fuzzy on the details, but that is what happened when my parents got married and my dad hadn't converted). The Eucharist is an important part of our faith, in fact it is basically the single most important thing in the world to us Catholics, so you guys should give this a lot of thought and discussion. Good luck and God Bless.

by **hillocke** » Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:21 pm

I'm Methodist. Just tell the new Mom and Pops that you prefer to practice Protestantism and you wish to raise your kids in a faith confident that they will not be molested by a creepy priest. Also, you like the idea of being able to control the number of children you have since Protestants are free to wrap and cover our stuff before we have sex.

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