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Concerns i have about my boyfriends childhood...please help.?

Discussions relating to Drug Laws

Concerns i have about my boyfriends childhood...please help.?

Postby stephon14 » Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:22 pm

My Boyfriend was raised in a poor area with lots of Poverty.For years it was him and his mum at home (who was an alcoholic that turned christian that became a lesbian! etc) and he had 3 older siblings that were quite a bit older that visited every now and then. His Ma died in front of him (had a heat attack) and a month or so later he had his first child with his ex at the age of 16.He stayed with them for 5 years before moving outta town and in with his older sister. He drinks a lot and has used drugs. Hes broken the law in the past as a result of having a gambling addiction. And he has cheated on his ex girlfriends a lot. I think he may be a narcissist. What do you think? I want to help him as much as i can (i love helping people) but he seems to think hes ok. I know he isnt.But i dont know what i can do for him to really help.I feel sorry for him and i want to protect him from anything bad in the future happening.
stephon14
 
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Concerns i have about my boyfriends childhood...please help.?

Postby lathrop » Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:34 pm

You can't help someone who doesn't want help! You can't change someone! Either you take the risk and love them for who they are, or you don't. Do you wanna be with an alcoholic gambling cheater with a babymama? Your choice.
lathrop
 
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Concerns i have about my boyfriends childhood...please help.?

Postby advent » Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:46 pm

I don't think he is a narcissist, but his chances of dependency are most likely sky high.
advent
 
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Concerns i have about my boyfriends childhood...please help.?

Postby han » Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:52 pm

youll never change him or get him to believe hes wrong. hes but up defense barriers to keep his mind sane and keep him safe. Dont take **** from the guy. I wouldnt put the time into him if he really isnt worth it. He sounds like straight up sleaze. Whenever you truly help someone, odds are, they are gonna hate you at first, then after a long time theyll thank you. NOBODY will ever say "Wow, you have completely opened my eyes to how shitty ive been acting. I have to change." Youre not gonna stop him. The only thing you can do is alienate him. Seperating yourself from him (if enough of the close people do it, or if the things he loves leave him) he MIGHT change and see that how he acts is keeping the things he likes away from him, its worked for me. Even if its drugs or something. Either way, there is no nice way to do it.
han
 
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