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[flannagain]

Maybe they were defensive because your mother rudely blurted out at a party that the gifts they thoughtfully picked out for you are useless and will be returned. Your mom sounds really classy.

And, yes, I do judge mothers who can breastfeed but choose not to because of their own selfish reasons.

[eochaidh94]

no matter if your family or not, you will get the same reaction from those who swear by breastfeeding. even though sometimes its out of your control (my case- son born preemie, after I gave birth to him he was whisked a way to nicu. never got and skin to skin or chest bonding time. never got asked, if I want to breastfeed or pump. I was so drugged out by magnesium. 3days of it before he was born, while on a liquid only diet, and the epidural. and by the time I was able to get any energy he was already well established on formula and I also had troubles with my milk coming it. 5th day after he was born. I would be pumping for 30mins and only get out 5-10ml. sometimes not even a drop. i kept asking to pump or breastfeed but they kept telling me ask them in post par tum. which I never got sent to. I was also taking so many medications, finally after being discharged, 6 days after he was born. while he was still in the hospital. thats when they started nagging me to get him latching on. which didnt happen because they started bottle feeding him already. so now that I dont breastfeed because of all the stuff that happend. doctors still ask me if I am breastfeeding. and when I say no. bottle feeding with formula. they give me a dirty look. and give me a lecture on how its better for baby. with out knowing why I couldn't...) or even if you choose not to due to personal preference.

[akule76]

The fanatics exist on both sides of the fence. For every mother that is a breastfeeding nazi there is an equally fanatical formula feeding mother that can't wait to tell BFers how gross breastfeeding is and how you should ween at 6 weeks.The fact is 16% of all infants will be breastfed at 6 months old. The infants that make it to 1 year are in the single digits. So despite what the other formula feeding mother extol on y!a, you are in the vast majority. Most mothers formula feed their babies. You are not a persecuted minority, and the fanatical anti-formula mothers you are describing are very few and far between.

There are a plethora of parenting issues that prove decisive. BF vs FF, circumcision vs natural, crib sleeping vs co-sleeping etc. Each side has their champions. It's up to you as a parent to make your own informed opinion and be secure in that decision.

[larry]

My ex wouldn't buy formula, so I had no choice with my first. I nursed her for the first year (until she could have milk). It was the most uncomfortable thing for me. It didn't create bonding, and my daughter isn't anymore advanced than the other kids her age. She's behind some kids that were fed formula, and ahead of others who had breastmilk. They advance at their own rates, and I don't think babies that are nursed are superior to others.

My current boyfriend let me choose, and I went with formula. It actually turned out to be a good choice, because this time, my baby had jaundice, and formula helps flush it out of their system better than breastmilk. And, I don't have to attempt to cover up while a baby rips the blanket away, or leave the room, and my boyfriend helps out more with the feedings. It is also easier at the store and in the car, and if I leave the baby with my boyfriend to run an errand, I'm not getting a call in the middle of it to come home and feed the baby.

I say, if you and your husband have decided you're using formula, it doesn't matter what other people's opinions are. But, as you have seen it is almost like discussing politics or religon. Everyone has their opinion, and some think they're opinion is superior to anyone else's. In my case, formula is working out better than nursing.

[seager]

I do, I admit it. Personally I think you should get over yourself, at least give it a shot because there are tons of benefits for your baby and it's no longer about you.

but that's just me. I don't outright say it, but it's in my head. You asked, I answered. There are people who will say it to people's faces. C'est la vie.

[jen]

All the time.....but people like that are not worth your time!
They are a waste of space in human society.

I completely agree with everything Julie said.
I did give BF a try, but found it too exhausting. Well.....my 1st pregnancy was twins, so can you blame me! lol......Anyway, I found it was the right desicion for me and my babies!
I personally don't believe 'breast is best'.
I was BF and was up the doctors EVERY week with some illness or other.
My niece was BF and is constantly ill.
Whereas my chidren were bottle fed and are NEVER ill.
They're even brighter than most kids older than themselves!

Honestly, I think it's a bigger issue in America, rather than over here (UK)

But do what you feel comfortable doing and don't let anyone put you down about it.

And I just have to add to Katie, 4Red & Asrai - you're all IDIOTS!!!

Good luck to you sweetie!
;-)

[adare]

I've never been to a baby shower or personally heard of any disputes like this because, like you, most of the women on my side of the family don't breastfeed. My cousin attempted to breastfeed her two children but it didn't work out (her first was born 7 weeks early and couldn't suck properly and by the time she could my cousin's breastmilk had dried up and she only breastfed for a few weeks with her son because he wouldn't latch on properly) and my sister breastfed her son for a few weeks until she stopped due to pain and the constant time and attention it required. Other than those two women nobody has ever breastfed.

However, I have seen HUGE debates and fights on here about it and I'm sure a few arguments will get started on this thread to be honest. I wouldn't take it to heart. If you don't want to breastfed you don't have to. It's a personal choice and you shouldn't have to explain your reasoning to anyone, family or not. As long as you and your husband are on the same side and it seems to be working for your child then I don't see the problem. Of course breast is best but it just isn't for everyone and I don't blame you. I won't be breastfeeding my children either when I have them.

[rolfe16]

Do you have enormous lucious ****