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[bearchan]

The women in my side of the family have never breastfed. But all the women in my husband's side have. So at my baby shower, they all gave me nursing blankets and breast pumps when I have no intention of doing so. It's not something that I grew up with and frankly, the idea just makes me uncomfortable. Anyway, I was just going to thank them and privately return them, but my mother blurted out to them that I wasn't going to breastfeed. The looks my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws gave me were awful. Then they got into a giant fight. My husband has absolutely no objection to formula, but his side of the family appears to be making a big deal.
Is this a common diatribe among mothers?

[taryn31]

Yep, same thing happened to my best friend at her baby shower. Women who are pro breastfeeding judge the rest of us all the time, ive seen it get even worse, accusing moms who you formula of being bad mothers and telling them their kids will be stupid because they say breastfed babies are smarter.

Best advice, its your choice and dont associate with people who dont support you

[anson34]

Probably more of a class war issue, dear.

[gowan]

It can happen. This is a hot topic amount mothers and there is evidence that shows breast feeding is good for babies, but formula doesn't hurt them.

If you and your husband are in agreement to use formula, then I wouldn't worry.

It's most likely they were embarrassed and taken by surprise. While many mothers have strong opinions about the subject, most don't look down on someone else for making a different decision. If it comes up simply say "We made a decision that works for us and for our baby".

[darrick34]

This happens with any parenting decision, probably best to get used to it now.

A lot of people feel VERY strongly that breastfeeding is best thing you could ever do for your baby, so you're probably really stunning them by not even considering trying.

[porter]

Honestly, if my daughters decide to not breastfed when they have children, I will be very disappointed because I've taught them better.

There are women, although very rare, that truly can't breastfeed. They don't produce. Then there are HIV positive women who shouldn't breastfeed unless they live in an area were they have no access to good water for formula or formula at all.

I do not understand women who decide not to breastfeed when they are perfectly capable.

Why don't they want to give their kids the very best?
Why would you throw away all that money spent on formula when breastmilk is free?

Just because your family doesn't have any knowledge about breastfeeding doesn't mean you shouldn't do some research about it for yourself and more importantly for your baby.

[emmanuil54]

although breast is best...breastfeeding isn't for everyone!
I breastfeed my son, but he also gets formula when I'm away from him...that or pumped breastmilk.

I don't pass judgement on mothers who do choose to formula feed, My friend tried breastfeeding for a month and didn't feel like it was working for her and decided for formula feed. And i don't judge.

I would encourage you to at least try to breastfeed. Its free! And it helps you loose weight so quickly! My son is almost 7 weeks and I'm already down to my pre-pregnancy weight. (i gained over 30lbs!) And it really is so good for your baby and yourself included.

But then again, it is your choice. Do NOT let others make yourself feel guilty about not breastfeeding. Millions of children have been raised on formula and turned out fine. I was a breastfed baby but my husband was formula fed after 6 weeks.

Good luck and don't let others sway you. I am simply recommending that you breastfeed but there is NO problem with formula.

[darik2]

although breast is best...breastfeeding isn't for everyone!
I breastfeed my son, but he also gets formula when I'm away from him...that or pumped breastmilk.

I don't pass judgement on mothers who do choose to formula feed, My friend tried breastfeeding for a month and didn't feel like it was working for her and decided for formula feed. And i don't judge.

I would encourage you to at least try to breastfeed. Its free! And it helps you loose weight so quickly! My son is almost 7 weeks and I'm already down to my pre-pregnancy weight. (i gained over 30lbs!) And it really is so good for your baby and yourself included.

But then again, it is your choice. Do NOT let others make yourself feel guilty about not breastfeeding. Millions of children have been raised on formula and turned out fine. I was a breastfed baby but my husband was formula fed after 6 weeks.

Good luck and don't let others sway you. I am simply recommending that you breastfeed but there is NO problem with formula.

Some breastfeeding mothers do. Just as some mothers pass judgement on baby wearing, nursing in public, co sleeping moms. It's human nature to judge.
Breastfeeding is the most nutritious and balanced food you can give your baby, and I wouldn't knock it until you at least give it a good try!

[newyddilyn60]

As a nursery nurse who works on a postnatal ward, I would say it is totally up to you how you feed your baby especially as you say the thought of breast feeding makes you feel uncomfortable.

However wait and see how you feel after delivery as sometimes we find that mums do change their minds.
Please don't feel pressured into breast feeding. We find that most mums will give it a go and you may find that the midwives will assume you want to breast feed.
Just do what you find best for you and your family - it's your baby and your body!

[burdett]

I am a mum and grandma and I would never pass judgement on mothers who do not breastfeed, I did breastfeed my daughter but it is not something I would recommend any new mum to do as it is very tiring and doesn't give you time for anything else and I think leaves the new dad out of the feeding time. Do not worry what the in-laws say as it is your baby and your life, I loved it when my grandchildren were born and i could help with the feeding, Good luck.