First Love break up 9 Months ago, Still causing me to feel so depressed when i think of what I lost?

[colten]

I met this girl at a very young age. The moment we met we liked each other immediately which was almost like love at first sight. She was so beautiful and its amazing that she felt the same way for me. She was also a year older then me. I believe i was 14 at the time. We had a summer romance that was magical,so many memories of it: First kiss etc. When it was time to go back to high school I ended up breaking up with her because of personal issues. She was heartbroken. I dropped out of highschool and shut the world out.

Years passed and i grew up a bit, got to know myself better. I realized how big of a mistake i made leaving this girl. She was always very nice to me, the perfect girl for me.It was very very very hard it took a lot of patience and time but eventually I won her back. This is time things were much better. I loved eachother so much and it was just spectacular. We spent all our time together for the next 3 years,We actually spent everyday with eachother, Not getting any space from eachother. I believed this made me very attached to her.

There was a time in our relationship where i became tired of having sex with her. I barley ever kissed her at all. I was neglecting her in these ways. Though she still loved me. Anyways she ended up kissing this boy one night and the next day she told me and apologized sincerely. She begged that i would not retaliate and try to hook up with girls. I somehow admitted to her that i got urges to be with other girls at times, ( i didnt want to be i a relationship with these girls, just get more sexual experience because my girlfriend at the time was my first in everything) Anyways i admitted this to her and i feel like it changed alot.. and might have led to the breakup

Im not sure how long later, Maybe half a year or more. Things started getting worse. I hung out with this girl sooo much that i didnt really have anybody to hangout with if she wasn’t there. she got a job and met some friends and when she would go hangout with them she told me that she would have to feel bad for me, that i would have nothing to do. Maybe at times i got mad at this, i dont remember, i hope i didnt.

Then after a while we had a talk and she said that she was feeling too much pressure from the relationship. She said that I had to be able to be okay without her,She said my happiness couldn’t depend on her( true even to this day). She said she couldn’t be my crutch in life. She said that we had so much growing to do. She had also been in a relationship after i broke up with her to try and forget about me. So in total she was in a relationship with two boys since she was 14;6 years in total. I guess she was right to want some freedom,especially if she was feeling so much pressure from me.

And on top of all that I had told her that i wanted or had urges to be with other girls. This girl was amazing,She was a girl i know i could spend the rest of my life with. On top of my liver, she was my bestfriend. We laughed all the time, She was goodhearted. She was everything i wanted in a girl and she loved me soo much too. We have so many memories together, We were truly in love with each other.

She broke up with me. After the brake up i would try to hang out with her and when i did we would still kiss and such. i dont know if thats a good sign or what, After days of not seeing her I would get soo depressed so i decided to move to cali tog get away. We hung out the night before i left. I told her i never wanted to stop talking to her, i told her i loved her so much still and that i would come back. She texted me a couple days after i got there. She said she hoped i was having a wonderful time in cali, why i hadnt texted her in days. That she hoped i had a wonderful life out there, That shes was never important to me, I was just bored. I dont know if thats a good sign either.

Well anyways i moved out to cali and now im back in jersey because i had an injury in cali and needed to come home to stay with my mom so she could take care of me until i get better. Im back in this town and the first thing i do is text her and ask her where we stand, aske her what her perspective is on the whole situation between me and her. She said shes jsut in a different place right now. I continued to tell her that i loved her so much and that i didnt want that love to go to waste.That i felt like it was. She said that she couldnt realy see us being in any sort of relationship again, especially not in the near future. This really hurt me, i guess i had hopes that we could get back together. I cant get over this girl. She meant the world to me and still does. I need her. I feel like ill never be able to put the past behind me. Should i hang out with her one night and try to explain to her how i feel?

[tai38]

I'm not reading that monograph of your love life, but from your question all I'll say is that it takes time, sometimes a clean break is best unless you want to keep crawling back to her, from the last paragraph which is all I skimmed through it seems as though she wants the clean break as should you.

[ern]

American Airlines is a good and cheap flight. Hope I helped answer your question, I didn't read any of that long sh*t

[modraed]

Give her some space after the break-up.The harder you try the situation become more worse and she will definetly walk away. If she says she needs some time, respect her decision. Do not call her every minute of the day.

Don`t ever try to beg her. This is one common thing many people tries but failed to get their girl back. Even if you are actually desperate to win her back, do not turn clingy.

You can present her all over again with flowers, chocolates and letters. But while the gifts can draw a smile, winning her back will require a more personal and sincere efforts.

Make her feel that you are worthy of a second chance. Use the time you have spent apart since the break-up to reflect this.

Think again your qualities that attracts her towards you. Play up your strengths. Become the man she first fell for.

You should figure out what exactly went wrong with your relationship. Think in your head the conversations, and even fights, you had.

After you get to know what went wrong in your relationship, call her for a meet or try to talk to her. You can even take help from your mutual friends in this to arrange a meet for both of you.

When she does agree to a conversation, humbly apologize for your all wrong doings and take responsibility for your actions. Here comes an important step, don`t just stop at sorry, convince her all the way and make her realise that your relationship deserves a second chance.

Do not, however, force the reconciliation. Show her how much you want to be with her. Let everything else fall back into place.Assure her that you will completely respect her decision. Remember, once again you shouldn`t force her at any cost.

Use the above tips, decide your action plan and have guts to show her that you actually loved her very much. She will be definetly yours. Good Luck. Have faith in yourself of making everything right and back into its place.