Help! My Mother-in-law Is Trying To Decorate My House!

[Innocenzio]

We recently bought a house and since then, my mother-in-law has constantly been trying to decorate it. Her style is NOT my ideal. We recently had an argument over whether there should be bar stools at the island in the kitchen(she said yes, I said no). She thinks we need a bigger table(a glass top, even though we have 2 boys under 4) and she doesn't like our curtains(which I made and my husband and I love). She's always buying things she thinks we need for the house(sometimes expecting us to pay her back, even though we never told her to buy them and really didn't want them). She's bought god-awful drapes, that are just sitting in our closet because I think they're hideous(and I've told her so). The most recent is that she has bought a set of bar stools for our kitchen(which I didn't want, and she knows that) for a birthday present for my husband. Oh yes, it's a birthday present, so she knows I won't say anything against it. How can I get her to butt out without hurting her?

[Harel]

But you husband has to. Mother in Laws do cause huge fights, but mostly because they think they are helping. You can do nothing. You?ve already done more than you should try. You?ve got to explain to your husband that he has to handle it because she is his mother(does your husband think this is a problem? If not, I suggest counseling). Good luck.

[Chizkiya]

You can't But you husband has to. Mother in Laws do cause huge fights, but mostly because they think they are helping. You can do nothing. You?ve already done more than you should try. You?ve got to explain to your husband that he has to handle it because she is his mother(does your husband think this is a problem? If not, I suggest counseling). Good luck. dejapooh 70 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.

[hershel76]

This is your husband's mother, not yours. He needs to speak to her in a kind, loving, straight-forward manner and, somehow, try to make her understand that you two want to decorate your own home. Each individual has different tastes, and never the twain shall meet. This woman needs to learn how to mind her own business, get a hobby, or do some volunteer work and stay out of your lives. Tell her you are giving the stuff she gave you that you are not using to charity, if she does not want it back, and that you are not going to pay her for stuff you did not ask for. This is totally out of control. Get a handle on it before she goes beserk(she's well on her way). I've seen this before, and it did not stop. The wife was a wuss;, the husband was a wuss; and the mother-in-law was a bully. It's time for all of you to grow up and speak up, and stop letting this nut job walk all over you.   

[Tristyn]

What I have done in the past to save peace was to invite her into my shopping plans for my decorating. This may or may not work but it is worth a try. I think that she wants her imput to count. Sounds like she is bored with her own decorating. Suggest that this spring you could volunteer to help her redecorate her place if she would like. Tell her of your likes and dislikes as far as decorating goes. As far as the bar stools, hmmm if I had a cellar I would have a bar built and place them there! Or try sitting her down and telling her that you appreciate all that she has done, but this is something that you and your husband has looked forward to doing on your own.   Good luck. Sources: personal opinion   ragrug_lady's Recommendations Interior Motives : Fast & Fabulous Decorating Used from: $1.50 Better Homes and Gardens Interior Designer Amazon List Price: $59.99 Used from: $52.80 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5(based on 22 reviews) ragrug_lady 70 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.

[riddoc98]

        You can lock your doors or give her acid or mushrooms this will change her mind real quick.    But these moves might be a lil too much for right now.    You can buy her garbage and see if she uses it in her house for if she don't you do not have to use her stuff.       If someone was trying to decorate my castle I would give them a look like  don't pull my tiger tail or you will get the claws..   You can be super nice and fake and say your drapes are so nice they are too good for me to use I will donate them to a bigger better house that is worthy of such cool drapes.       Or say these bar stools are cool but I was sitting on one and I fell off and I busted my melon.    I feel they are too dangerous for us so if you have the tag take them back and give us money instead.      But my crib would never be decorated by anyone other than me or my girl.    If I want to paint a whole room royal blue than I will or if I want to hang chicken feet in every room than I will it is my house .    You should have total say on what stays and what goes in your house.                 But lock your doors and hide like she was vacum cleaner salesman or bill collector.

[arber47]

You need to have a family meeting with your husband and your oh so lovely mother in law and tell her your feelings.  Let her know how you appreciate her efforts but firmly yet diplomatically let her know that you dont appreciate how she is trying to control what is going on in  your house.  Birthday gifts can be returned ...or you can simply donate them to Habitat for Humanity.  Yard sales come in handy, too.    To play devil's advocate, perhaps she is lacking something in her life to make her try to take over yours?  If she got interested in a good hobby or something, perhaps she would have a lot less time to over assert herself into your home.    Just be diplomatic, though..tough as it may be.  Your husband also has a duty to stand up for you.  It is your home and his..not hers.    Good luck and thank you for making me feel blessed that I live thousands of miles away from my monster in law.

[drystan]

She *will* be hurt and she *will* get over it. This is your husband's mother, not yours. He needs to speak to her in a kind, loving, straight-forward manner and, somehow, try to make her understand that you two want to decorate your own home. Each individual has different tastes, and never the twain shall meet. This woman needs to learn how to mind her own business, get a hobby, or do some volunteer work and stay out of your lives. Tell her you are giving the stuff she gave you that you are not using to charity, if she does not want it back, and that you are not going to pay her for stuff you did not ask for. This is totally out of control. Get a handle on it before she goes beserk(she's well on her way). I've seen this before, and it did not stop. The wife was a wuss;, the husband was a wuss; and the mother-in-law was a bully. It's time for all of you to grow up and speak up, and stop letting this nut job walk all over you.    Sources: common sense sparkleplenty 70 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.

[Caldwiella]

to invite her into my shopping plans for my decorating. This may or may not work but it is worth a try. I think that she wants her imput to count. Sounds like she is bored with her own decorating. Suggest that this spring you could volunteer to help her redecorate her place if she would like. Tell her of your likes and dislikes as far as decorating goes. As far as the bar stools, hmmm if I had a cellar I would have a bar built and place them there! Or try sitting her down and telling her that you appreciate all that she has done, but this is something that you and your husband has looked forward to doing on your own.   Good luck.

[Adejola]

There a many ways to help her out Like Lock your doors or         You can lock your doors or give her acid or mushrooms this will change her mind real quick.    But these moves might be a lil too much for right now.    You can buy her garbage and see if she uses it in her house for if she don't you do not have to use her stuff.       If someone was trying to decorate my castle I would give them a look like  don't pull my tiger tail or you will get the claws..   You can be super nice and fake and say your drapes are so nice they are too good for me to use I will donate them to a bigger better house that is worthy of such cool drapes.       Or say these bar stools are cool but I was sitting on one and I fell off and I busted my melon.    I feel they are too dangerous for us so if you have the tag take them back and give us money instead.      But my crib would never be decorated by anyone other than me or my girl.    If I want to paint a whole room royal blue than I will or if I want to hang chicken feet in every room than I will it is my house .    You should have total say on what stays and what goes in your house.                 But lock your doors and hide like she was vacum cleaner salesman or bill collector. Sources: Real Talk Moneymix 70 months ago Please sign in to give a compliment. Please verify your account to give a compliment. Please sign in to send a message. Please verify your account to send a message.