Helping a friend and his wife in financial trouble?

[lalla3]

My husband I have a friend whos wife was just served 3 court papers for debt they owe to a credit union. In the past couple years of their marriage they've told us of their serious money stupidity and just about 6 months ago, they were SUPPOSEDLY almost out of debt. We were really happy and excited for them! Buuuut in recent weeks they have admitted to serious financial irresponsibility that had gotten them lined up for court appearances vs. the credit union. What they do with their money is their business. We're flattered to have close friends that can feel like they can come to us just to talk about their problems, but they lied to us when they didn't have to. In NO WAY have they asked for financial help or hinting for money, but my husband and I feel like we want to help somehow. We could pay off their $9000 they owe and we wouldn't ask for it back. We're way too good of friends to do that to them and we love them too much...... but I was needing some opinions and thoughts outside the box. There are some things that I'm not too comfortable with when it comes to giving money to them. Our concern for their well-being and the concern of future problems are 50/50...that's why we're having trouble figuring out what to do.

A. His wife has been hoarding money for years and spended it on stray animals. (She has an animal hoarding problem too.) She has to have absolute control over the money flow she won't even let her in-laws give her husband money for Christmas or Birthday so he can buy something. She's kind of crazy like that. he's done some stupid things himself too.
B. We want to pay off everything they owe, but we think they need a financial and life coach to get their house in order first.
C. We're worried they (mostly she) won't learn a lesson and do the same thing all over again.
D. She and her husband each have a dog which they need to keep...those are their babies! Then there are an additional 5 cats and 4 dogs (sick enough to be put down, sad) in a one bedroom apartment....the spare animals HAVE to go.
E. The money has to be used for the debt, nothing else.

Do you think it's a fair deal for them to get a family/life coach counciling in exchange for their debts to be paid in full? We'll even help pay for the coach if they're willing to get the help!
We can see a large root of their problems is the animals. It is obvious the stray and sick animals need to go, but I don't feel it's our place to say it even though this is the deal breaker or maker. We feel a professional should help them with that.
We really want to help them, but won't do it until they agree to get help. How should we approach them with this proposition? They only had 90 days to come up with the money. We think as serious as the problem is, getting life changing help for them will take more than 90 days and our financial assistance will be too late. Please give me your thoughts. Good ones bad ones. Please no insults. These are our friends that we care about very much.

[luther]

I cant read too much but u should ready to give them more money now they dependend on you

[calin]

The story is too long to read, my suggest is post more questions in little details instead of one long questions like this.

Anyway to answer your questions, I would stay out of it. I mran being friends is about helping each other but just a tiny help like cost you few cents once a while is good. But something big like this then stay out of it.

It's normal to hear people with money problem these day as it hard to earn money for year 2012 anyway.