How long do you stay at the In-laws for holiday visits?

[albanwr26]

My girlfriend of 10 months and I are about to make our 3rd visit to her folks house. On both prior occasions we have stayed with them (in separate rooms of course). This time its for Thanksgiving. Mind you, I don't come from a big holiday family. It's a 5hr drive to her parents place. When I agreed, I had in mind that Thanksgiving celebration consisted of a Thursday and maybe part of Friday. So when this came up, she says, I thought we were going to stay till Sunday. I was like huh?? Thanksgiving is on Thursday, why would I be hanging out with your folks from Wednesday night until Sunday afternoon?? Anyway.. I think she was offended.. But dayum! I don't even hang under my own folks like that. I've taken her to see my folks once. And it was for 2 days. And we stayed at a hotel. I didn't want her or my folks to be placed in any uncomfortable situation with a strange person on their house or my gf being in strange place. I feel 2 nights in someones house is more than plenty? Am I being unreasonable? I feel if i stay this whole weekend it will set a bad precedent. I have two kids, who are not going to be with me this time around.. They are going somewhere with their mom.. But I feel like 1) it's a 4 day weekend and one of the few times of the year I have off to visit MY friends and family. And 2) I'm contractor.. I don't get paid vacations or holidays. Time off is time not getting paid. I don't want to waste it staring in her folks face for 4 whole days. Besides were were just there a few weeks ago.. And she's already made plans to go back for Xmas. Definitely not doing that one. She is an only child! Go figure. It's home to her.. but not to me. She's been home at least 2-3 other times this year without in addition to the times I went with her. I might see my folks 1-2 times a year. The rest is on the phone or texting. They understand people don't have money like that to be running up and down the road for every little occasion. When I mentioned I have other people I want to see, she asked if I was talking about taking a day trip to Atlanta and come back to her parents home. I told her I'm almost 1/2 the way home if I go there.. Why come back to her folks house? I'm about to tell her.. Pick which time you want to leave. Friday evening, or Saturday morning? That's the best I can do.

[arber47]

Sorry to tell you but your girlfriend came with "a bundle". Once you are part of her as per her culture... You are part of her family.
Your financial difficulties do not have anything to do with her family values. It is not her fault you are not rich enough to have enough money so you do not have to worry about "pay days"
I suggest you take time to visit "your family" who is now "her family" and her family who are now your family.
See... It is the same family now. There is no "my family" concept. Family just grew and you must take time to share with everyone.
It is not her fault that you have other issues like kids or parents. If you love that woman you must get it right now.
Just make sure you are nice to her. She will be there when you dont have anybody to visit and nowhere to go to.
Just love her and please her. She will understand. Talk to her. make a big chart and decide together when to visit your side and her side. And remember. IT IS NOW A BIGGGG FAMILY ALL TOGETHER.

[andor25]

Although I would love to be on the chicks side on this one, I can't!! I wouldn't wanna be with my bf's fam for that long. Hell we have been together 7 years & we aren't doing Christmas or Thanksgiving together this year. The best way to get out of this is to tell her you have a family too and you can't expect her to just make you ditch them for hers. GOODLUCK!

[adaya]

I can't help but think you are right. You need to tell her that you understand that she wants to see and be with her parents, but that you don't want to stay for that long. Two days is plenty! It is awkward (probably for her parents also) to be in someone elses house for longer than that. You need to tell your GF everything you have written here!