How to deal with a differcult ex-partner who i have a 6 year old child with?

[roche]

Good morning Australia.;)..
I am not sure how to put my thoughts on this site, and not sure what goes on in my ex partner's world but lets begin.. my ex-partner and I separated almost 3 1/2 years ago ,throughout my entire relationship he has been controlling, vindictive, a destructive manipulative, master of charm list can on. I have a current protection order enable for my son myself my partner to feel somewhat safe with meet up and drop unfortunately family court order (consent order) can over rule my protection order so it makes extremely difficult to deal with the ex-partner that has no empathy what so ever. With 2 mediation's and the 3rd next week i'm not sure how well my ex-partner will react with the out come.

.ex-partner wants 50/50 1 wk on 1wk off this however I do not beleive will work due to history of family violence,repetitive inappropriate behaviour,either abusive phone conversations,text msg or verbal conversations unfortunately cannot re-frame himself of his repetitive abusive actions in front of our 6 year old child. I often explain this is not the time and place to talk or act in this manner in front of the child "i do not give a f@%k" he complains.

My understanding family law require share parenting yes I am all for that BUT not all for the conflict and abusive behaviour in front of child or to anyone. My ex-partner's with his mother claims unemployment benefits whilst wrking cash in hand, living de-facto relationship of 3 months, does not pay any child support (did pay $1.25 p/w 6 months ago)makes dogmatic remarks about myself and my partner of 2 years. Ex-partner told school teacher WHAT will be the living arrangements for child and he WILL get full custody (I know family law do not use that term anymore).. Im not understanding his world and to be quite Honest his life full of no EMPATHY.

My partner and myself are 5 1/2 months pregnant and very happy, very supportive, offer our child a life full of happiness, respect and install good family values in saying this i'm not stating that ex-partner isn't doing this, We do see quite often my son displays his fathers attitude towards life aggressive gestures and can mirror Father behaviour most of the times. we do explain to child we will not tolerated this somewhat behaviour
.Court order states father has 3 wknds a month, mother has child during the week with only 1 wknd Sunday 4.oopm same day meet up exchange son over..Do u think it's fair?

My ex-partner receives a gift on friday afternoons, unwraps it, plays with it, destroys it, wraps it back up, then sends it off to be repaired get my drift. My home is like a maintenance center during the week.

Surely the child has a right to spend at least 2 wknds with mother to enable a strong bond between them. But no I have been informed by my exparnter "all or nothing" 1 week on 1 week off Sign agreement or "i will make your life difficult "quote ,unquote" Constant threats taking me to family court, breaching the consent order which I do not believe i do. Maybe because I request for meet up and drop off will commence at the police station because ex-partner cannot be trusted.

Conclusion: I do believe I did not bring my son up in this world to see or know life with no empathy aggression and bully like behaviour. How can u help the situation when u can't eliminate the problem? My hands are tired up at the moment with the court order, court is very expensive,and highly stressful. Any one with any ideas on this subject much appreciated.. kind regards. Tierd mother of 1 1/2 kids.

[max]

Try going to raido shack and purchasing a electronic voice recorder. I bought one for $30 and saving any txt msg or voicemail calls and submitting them as evidence before the judge. CHECK WITH YOUR LAWYER TO MAKE SURE THAT IT IS LEGAL IN YOUR STATE TO RECORD WITHOUT HIM KNOWING....it is in Indiana (cell msgs and voice mail are always legal) Then get your son into counciling with a good theripist. ask your lawyer to sugguest one that the judge that is prosiding over your case appoints (that way if you ever need proof of the damage your ex is causing the judge will already respect the oppnion of the theripist). Good luck with all your going threw. I know as a divorced mother of 3 that it is hard to keep your composure when forced to face this kind of behavior but just KNOW that if you always show kindness even when you want to rip his head off that your child will see that the other parent is the one with the problem and will eventualy choose to follow your ways. My oldest is now 11 and she is seeing him for who he really is. It is a hard road but will eventually take you where you need to be.