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[jerrick]

I've been married to her brother for 8 years and with him for 14 and still am not treated like family.She smiles in everyones face and everyone thinks shes a damn angel!!! whenever a conflict arrises I'm the guilty one and she never does any wrong...ever.It causes rifts between me and my MIL (her mother)and even with me and my husband (tho sometimes he says he cant stand her either lol). she has done lots of evil things like steal our baby name...made a family photo book with everyones pictures but didnt include OUR family pics(her own brother)...treated our son like **** because we had a boy and she had three girls (she pouted for two years) and one night her husband got drunk and spilled the beans that she hates me and cant stand certain words I use because I say them so he is not allowed to say them! crazy yeah I know. for years we act civil and have family gatherings and so fourth but lately she's been bashing me indirectly on fb resulting in a huge fight at my mils house this weekend. I like to avoid drama but even when i dont retaliate and try to be the bigger person it always unfolds to everyone hating me! I'm tired of being disrespected by her and her family. Lately I've been debating seperation from my husband because it seems like itd be easier to go than stay.I've tried everything...ignoring her, being civil, being nice,biting my tongue...what do I do when we hate eachother undercover? After 14 years of being a good woman shouldn't they respect me by now?

[marlan43]

Honey, don't break your husband's heart & marriage because of his spiteful hurting sister. He's NOT the one who is hurting you, she's the one who's doing it ALL. Have an attitude of gratitude for having a loving husband who stands behind you & at least does not take her side whatsoever. Just refuse to accept the unacceptable with her. When people do as she's doing to you, it's usually for some reason out of jealousy. YES, she's jealous of YOU!!! This only shows you she thinks you're better than she is. Now who's the better one...YOU are! To have someone be that jealous of you, you must be one "special" person! Ever think of it in that respect?! You've about tried to kill her with kindness & that obviously didn't work. What IF you & your husband together had one very serious talk with her. Put your heads together, write down EVERYTHING she does against you. Take that paper with you & set up a time to talk with her. Let her know you are sick & tired of accepting her unacceptability with you. She is being so totally unfair to you. Look her rite in her eyes & ask her WHY is she only doing these things against you. No one else, only you. Ask her what you did to/against her to have her treat you so utterly unkindly & hurtful. Make her squirm, make her give you one GOOD answer. Really put HER on the spot, in the spot lite, Say what you mean, mean what you say. Get this out in the open once & for all. She needs to be called on ALL she's done against you & has hurt you so badly. IF IF she's not going to give you civil answers, you don't feel you've gotten anywhere with her, let her know you do NOT want to see her face again, nor be anywhere around her again. BUT, let it be known, you are NOT going to allow her to bother you again any longer. She's proved to you she has a hateful heart & mean streak about her that you're not going to allow her poison to get to you anymore as you've now seen just what kind of an undesirable person she really is, she's NOT worth the room she takes up & she's not going to take up anymore room in your life from that day forward. From then on, do just what you said you were going to do & do not back down. Stay away from seeing & hearing things that would be hurtful to you. Protect yourself against her. You CAN do it with the help of your husband who loves you. You can even tell her you have an attitude of gratitude you are NOT like her. You're not obsessed with hurting others such as she is. Get it ALLL out, over & done with. You & your husband stand behind every word you've said to her. If you want, tape your whole conversation so if it/anything ever comes up regarding your mtg. with her, you'd have just the proof of every word that was said. She could not lie about it. After your mtg., let her know you have it all on tape & are going to keep it in a safe place just in case you'd ever need anything for proof. That IS how I would handle her, that's how I would attempt to end it ALL. Tell your husband he's welcome to speak up in your defense at any time & also let his impute be know as to just how he feels. This is exactly what my adult Son did with his very last mtg. with his physically abusive, mentally, verbally & emotional abusive Step father. I have that tape, the lies he told were totally outrageous & he's gone against his promises & word he gave to him at their mtg. I say to do it & finally bring EVERYTHING out in the open once & for all. I do believe you'll feel so much better for finally getting rid of it ALL & putting it back on the very one who is causing you ALL this hurtful grief. Think about it, seriously please consider doing it. You WILL finally unload your so heavy load...all the best to you, honey...:)

[chika]

if you leave your husband,who you love ,she wins

[link]

Stand your ground, and your hubby should stand YOUR ground too, ...just sayin.

[hagaleah]

If your husband is on your side, then that is all you can ask for. Don't worry so much about the other stuff. If you are nice as pie to her and act like she doesn't bother you at all, it will drive her nuts and you will win big time. Don't act sarcastic or put her down, just be polite and never say a bad thing about anyone on your husband's side.

You might not think this is worth while, but fighting it out with her will make things worse and leaving your husband because you can't stand his sister would be like hurting yourself to get back at her. She won't be bothered by that one bit, in fact, it would probably make her happy. What you should work for is to be happy with your own husband and kid and spend none of your time worrying about the in-laws. If you don't pay them any attention, they should not bother you so much. Don't read their facebook pages, either.

If you have a baby name you want for yourself, don't tell people about it until the baby is named. And if they still use it, then don't worry about it.

[madison86]

Ignore her comments, look at your husband and let him put his sister on her place. Your husband needs to stand up for you and talk to his family to treat you with respect. Also, your husband needs to put a stop to his sister by letting her know if she's got a problem with his wife then he got a problem with him because you two became one when you got married.

This problem has gone out of hand.
Your husband needs to give your place as a wife with his family. His family will treat you different specially his sister once your husband puts his foot down.

Don't leave your husband because of his sister. There is a solution an options for you and your husband to talk about.

[ammi]

She's your typical trouble maker and is good at lying. Actually the problem is that she is jealous of you and the only way to get back at it is bashing you. Don't separate from your husband due to this because then she will have the satisfaction of winning. Remember that misery loves company. She'll only deny everything anyway. It's probably safe to say that you're not the only one she does this to. You can start by being honest with her in order to demand respect. She doesn't have to like you, but she should respect you. Start denying her the same respect and at least she will know how you feel.