Law-Forums.org

[shipley]

How do I deal with a sister-in-law who only gives one-way conversations? Whenever I see her I try and engage her in a conversation and she's happy to talk about herself but hardly asks anything about me or my family. If her mood is not up it, she won't even ask a simple "how are you?" after getting a very uninterested greeting. This, after babysitting her kid, feeding them meals and putting aside old grudges between me and my brother who I have not gotten along with and can't be bothered with this kinda stuff. I've been polite but I'm at my wits end--it's like she can't be bothered at all. But watching her interact with her friends, she's not that engaging with them either and perhaps this is her personality, however uncharming as it is. But I hate to go on like this, for the sake of the family and my sanity. For all that we do for them, it feels as though our family just gets brushed aside and we are just left to feel used. I don't even know what to say to them or how to go on about resolving this. Help!

[werner72]

my personal experience. Just treat her like your own sister. its not that difficult.

[christos]

Try not to invest so much into them. You can't change people. That's who she is.

[treasigh]

Try not to invest so much into them. You can't change people. That's who she is.

Quit doing so much for them. And it is possible she is socially inept and has no clue or the brains to understand relationships are 2 way. My in laws are like this. Been married since 1976 and not one time ever have they asked me a question about myself. Not once. They are very self centered and frankly their IQ level seems pretty low. They just have no clue. So my suggestion is to stop taking it personally but also limit how much you do for them. It is not your job to take care of their lives. Learn to say no. I suggest reading up on how to be assertive and then apply what you learn to this situation. It really will help you learn to say no in an honest but diplomatic way without leaving you looking like a bad guy.