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[osryd]

I have a drama queen sister in law who cares for NO ONE but herself. I've always known to steer clear of her since she likes to cause trouble, but recently, she got me.

I had posted publicly that I needed time away from my kids because they were driving me nuts (every mothers complaint at some time or another), and she flipped. She went on about how I should be grateful that I have my kids, how I have people to watch them (I have my husband, that's it), and how she's a widow (she's been milking her husbands death for all the sympathy she can get for years now). I instantly deleted all her drama crap off my post, and instead sent her a message that she was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I, of course, put this into the nicest way possible. After a few gentle posts back and forth with me clarifying what I meant, she stopped. But no, it's not that easy. She then called every family member who would listen and went to town bad mouthing me that I'm a horrible mother and shouldn't be with my husband. Lets just say I got a lot of bad phone calls for the rest of the evening. Everyone knows she's a huge liar, but when one woman complains everyone listens and won't believe the facts!

Now I find out she may be moving to our area VERY soon, and I want nothing more than for this woman's selfish evil to stay far away from me and my family. Any ideas on how to handle this ***** the next time I see her, and for the next few years it seems?

[tate8]

You can start by not Posting PERSONAL commentary on a PUBLIC format like Facebook. You can choose who has access to your more private comments. IF you do post PUBLICLY you will of course receive PUBLIC commentary...(By the way, I am not yelling PERSONAL or PUBLIC every time I type the word)

A few questions for you GEEK MOM. Ready? Why are you making your Sister in Law's opinion so valuable? Why are you giving it such weight, such a place in your life? Let her be known by her own behaviour, her own actions. YOU are doing the same drama by talking about her widowness, aren't you? You are in a power struggle with your Sister in Law. Why? Here's how you win the battle.

It's like a tug of war. This is how you win. It's not by pulling harder on the rope, its by dropping the rope and walking away. Seriously, you are investing yourself in this drama, you are making yourself a character in it and you are raging about the way SHE is.

Drop the rope. Her opinion doesn't rate. Quit reacting to everything she does, quit trying to CONTROL her behaviour and invest in self-control. Control what is yours, Decide who has access to your posted comments and who doesn't, focus on your relationship with your husband, he didn't choose his Sister and you may slowly be driving him crazy...Why? She doesn't approve of you and you don't approve of her. Great! Call that an understanding accept it and move to more positive activities that don't drain you of positive energy... OR you can ignore my POST entirely...Who am I anyways? SAMUEL : []

[panteno]

maybe you should consider moving away too so you dont have to be around her

[ji]

Put a giant dildo in her a$$ til she shuts up...

[boyce]

tell here

[madison86]

I don't know how long your sister-in-law has been a widow, but it's not something you ever get over. You can't know what it's like to not only lose your other half, but to also lose all the plans you had made for your lives. It's very difficult to pick yourself up and start over in a new direction all by yourself.

I can't say what made you make phone calls to everyone, but I can tell you from experience that grieving the loss of your husband makes you do some weird things. For one thing, you HATE when other people are happy because it just makes you more depressed. And you HATE when other prople complain about what seem to you to be small problems. You want to grab the person, shake them as hard as you can and tell them how lucky they are that their biggest problem is that their kids are stressing them out.

If your sister-in-law doesn't have kids, she is probably regretting it so much right now. Her husband is dead and gone and there's nothing left of him. It's as if he didn't exist at all. She probably spends all day wishing they had children with his eyes or his sense of humor, so she could see something of her husband in them.

So maybe have some compassion for your sister-in-law. It sounds like she's having a very hard time of it.