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[tim]

long story short, my in laws are horrible!! I honestly want nothing to do with these people, they have done nothing but go out of their way to hurt my feelings and try to come in between my husband and I.

My in laws have tried to sabotage every major milestone for my husband and I… they have just showed up and intruded on our first anniversary plans, my MIL hijacked and ruined my bridal shower, my MIL told me that my wedding day was her day and about her, my MIL gave me foot odor lotion for my birthday (so rude!!), my MIL gossiped about me and shares my personal info with people.. while I was pregnant they had the nerve to ask me how much weight I’d gained!! Then they proceeded to ask me how soon I’d be able to lose it! Now mind you, I have always been underweight and both my mother and father in law are obese! It was so rude for they to be prying into my health and making judgments on me!

Most recently, I gave birth to my daughter who is now 2 months old. When I had her my in laws didn’t respect our boundaries and just showed up at the hospital unannounced and my MIL pried my daughter out of my arms and then told me to “go for a walk” so she could “babysit” my not even 12 hour old baby!! MIL is a psycho! Then my in laws proceeded to just go into our house (they found our spare key) and help themselves to our personal space.. I was soo stressed while in the hospital knowing that 2 people I hate were snooping through my things! Then when we came home, all they did was bother us everyday asking a million questions and asking us if they could come over. Now in most circumstances this would be 100% normal for an excited grandparent, however keep in mind that neither my husband nor I want a close relationship with these people.. We explained to them before I gave birth that our relationship with them would NOT be changing once our daughter is born and that we will continue things the way they are.. just talking to them via email about once a month and seeing them maybe a few times a year…

Well, my in laws clearly didn’t understand that nothing was changing with the relationship and they kept bothering us.. so my husband went to their house and had a lengthy chat explaining boundaries and that nothing is going to change between us just because we had a child.. My MIL had the nerve to give my husband the 3rd degree and say nasty things about me.. she then went on to criticize and question some of our parenting choices! I was absolutely livid when my husband came home and told me this, and so I emailed them and told them not to question our parenting decisions and that I was offended by their comments.

My in laws never responded to the email.. since then, my FIL emailed my husband and completely disregarded the fact that I was upset and expressed my frustrations.

Here is the kicker- for mother’s day (my first mother’s day! A very important/special day to me), my in laws sent me a card but didn’t even sign it. It was blank inside except for the printed words that said Happy Mother’s Day. They sent me a fricken generic card and didn’t even sign it. Seriously, what is the point? It is more hurtful to do that than to send nothing at all..

So now my husband gets an email from my FIL requesting updated pictures of our daughter. I have a huge issue with this. If you don’t respect me, then you aren’t in mine or my daughter’s life. Who do these people think they are? They hate me for absolutely no reason. The past 4 years in my relationship with my husband I have been so sweet to them and gone out of my way to just try and forget the mean hurtful things that they have said and done. My husband is their only child so I feel that it must be hard for them seeing him build a family on his own, but it isn’t my fault that he doesn’t like them.. he never has! I think that they are just pointing a finger at me because they cant accept the fact that their son doesn’t want to be their best friend…

I don’t want my husband to email them photos. They haven’t apologized to me and haven’t even acknowledged that they have been wrong in their actions. If they have a problem with me then I don’t feel they deserve to see pictures of my daughter.

In my opinion, being a grandparent is a privilege- not an entitlement. I know that no one is perfect and I have tried my best to get along and be civil with these people in the past. However, when it comes to MY daughter, I am not going to take crap from anyone. I feel they owe me the respect that I deserve and to start showing me that they can own up to their psychotic behavior before I let them into my daughter’s life or know what’s going on with my daughter…

[lalla3]

so you're mad at them for wanting to be involved in their grandchild's life? because they have an input? and because, god forbid, they discussed your pregnancy with you!!!!! god my exes mother has defended her dog for trying to attack my son, has screamed in my face while pregnant and I still send them photos!

ETA: because they aren't some random person, they are your daughters grandparents.

[torran]

me and my mother had some major problems when I was pregnant with my son, and for a long time afterwards. I did not want her around him or to see him. but then my father passed away, and my grandmother. and I got to thinking, it was not fair for my son to be missing out on having his grandmother in his life, because I was too immature to forgive someone. honey, you need to let some of this go, for your baby's sake! its not fair for her. you have more then yourself to think about now. you have her. you need to be the bigger person. if you cannot be the bigger person, the past is the past, leave it there. if you dont leave it there, then you will have bitter hatred for no reason. trust me, my mother did some pretty horrible things to me, but I forgave her, moved on and now I feel so much better about everything. they are not the only ones acting "psychotic" as you say. you are acting a little crazy yourself. what you decide to do in the end is up to you, but this will only eat at you for the rest of your life, until you decide to do something about. being a grandparent is not just a privelage. it is an entitlement. if my answer offends you, sorry, but I am looking at this from an adult view (you have to admit, you are NOT acting like an adult, and from experience). you should show them a little respect too.

[macquaid35]

I dont think they are mean after all. They are rude but not really cruel. I dont see the point why you want them out of your baby's live. From your story I dont see the reason why you called them psychotic. They are not good in laws but certainly not mean(unless you forgot to put any big details)

P:S I dont understand why in laws usually hates daughter in law but it didnt happened to a son in law. Maybe beacause were living in a mens world.

[boyce]

I would just scream and curse them out