How to stop my sister from doing this, please help?

by **karlitis** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:18 pm

Hey, I have a younger sister who is 14. She is a freshman in high school, soon to be sophomore. She has been acting weird since last summer and it's starting to scare me. She is obsessed with computers and is a hacker. She hangs out with a group of other students, mainly older ones, at school who are also into this. She stays on her computer until the morning. I hear her up at 1 and 2 on the computer and talking on the phone, about hacking and cracking websites.

She is a member of some hacker community online. She has shown me the message board for this community and it is mostly made up of "elder" hackers, people in their late 30s and 40s who have been hacking for many years. She has buddies on this site, some who are around her age. They are being teased and made fun of by the older hackers and are called "script kiddies." This frusturates her, so she is trying to do really bad and serious things to prove her competence to them.

This obsession of hers has screwed up her school life. She has skipped school several times to be on her computer all day. When she goes to school she skips her classes except her computer one. She almost got suspended when she got caught messing with the computer in the school library, but she managed to save face by lying about the situation. She claimed that she was instructed by a teacher to perform maintenance on it. The truth is that she was trying to put a virus on it.

She has become very rude, irritable and smart-mouthed. She never gives a straight answer for anything. She brags about how she knows how to hurt people by messing up their computers. Smart girl, but I'm worried because she has a criminal mind. She reads constantly about things like how to trick security. One of her friends in the hacker community that she talks to is an old guy who sells stolen computer hardware. She wears a trench coat and combat boots everyday to look scary, and has stopped caring about her personal hygeine.

Our parents are divorced. I am 17. Mom is hardly home and our stepdad is a drunk who doesn't care about us. I am her brother and I care about her, I want to get her out of this and steer her toward better things. I am afraid she will get in trouble with the law if she continues with this stuff. But right now she is hardheaded and won't listen to anyone. She is getting deeper and deeper into this, she is going to bum a ride to get to a hacker convention this summer. Please help.

by **gobrwy** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:24 pm

Most teenagers pass through this stage, where they think they are tough and unstoppable. It's just that each of us have it in a different way. Try talking some sense into her, by letting her know what could happen if she continues this way, let her know it's unjust and against the law to do what she's doing. If she keeps ignoring you and acting against you, consider taking her to a therapist, it usually works wonders. Just try to make her open up to you and talk to her about it.

by **chason62** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:26 pm

I would say that she is looking for attention for your parents. Also. She feels powerless but hacking is something where she has the power. Don't try to stop her yet. Let her know you care about her first be doing simple things like spending time with her. And give her a sense of power by letting her choose what you do. If you do this and you two become close but the hacking is at the same level as now. Then talk to her about it. Let her know you are just worried about her. Good luck!

by **claudius** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:34 pm

I would say that she is looking for attention for your parents. Also. She feels powerless but hacking is something where she has the power. Don't try to stop her yet. Let her know you care about her first be doing simple things like spending time with her. And give her a sense of power by letting her choose what you do. If you do this and you two become close but the hacking is at the same level as now. Then talk to her about it. Let her know you are just worried about her. Good luck!

No simple answer. Maybe you could talk to the police, sheriff. Not to get her in trouble, they might be able to talk to her about the effects of her actions. Maybe a computer wiz, teacher at school or college, or someone in computer business. They might help her talents in a positive way. Good Luck, you sound like a good brother. Don't give up.

by **ashbey15** » Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:37 pm

Hey there,
Brotherly love notwithstanding, you're right - something needs doing and doing NOW!
As disagreeable as it is to even consider - please consider turning sis in to the highest authority (in school or out) that you can. Doing nothing is just "enabling" her to continue - and in the interim some real damage could be done to not just herself, but to many. Perhaps with more than a slap on the wrist, she may see the error of her ways (maybe not since you know her mind pretty well). If she's hell bent on continuing these illegal and immoral activities, then she really ought to be stopped. You, already knowing her activities, makes you an accomplice unless you lovingly stop her from further harming herself and her future and your family as well - not to mention the millions of us out in cyberland who depend upon our computing for a living and human contact.
I hope this rings true to you, son. And I'm sorry you have so little family support - You're the one who
needs to be the responsible one in your household, as tough a task as that it. I wish you courage and stamina to provide disclosure of sis's activities - for both her and your/our own good. And thank you for all of it - you're hero material actually!

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