How to Survive this Black Hole of Divorce, Mortgage, Debt?

by **sebastiano** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:22 am

Sorry so long.
At this point, I will listen to anyone.
Brief Outline:
1) Divorced - ex refinances house adding almost $90K, legal battle of how and why this could happen, but nothing can be done to change current mortgage or his paying debt
2) have house I'm living in inspected' $75K structural flaws discovered, structural engineer confirmed, tried to sue builder but not in business, got appraisals, talked to real estatee agents, wrote & talked to politicians and charities but no help available.No expected proceeds from sale,
3) ex did not pay spousal and child support for 3 1/2 years . which will not be paid back to me.
4) In collections for $30K Credit Card debt of living expences during proceedings. Which lawyer said would be paid back to me by ex But It Will Not. Filed complaints about my lawyers but being a stupid lawyer is not malpractice
5) Divorce is final, Everything possible has been done to examine and challenge the above rulings.
6) Decreased all expences:. am trying to save for car, mortgage modification Denied.
7) Increaed Income: All jewelry sold, household items and clothes sold on ebay, took part-time low paying job, Due to health Problems can not work any more hours
8) Going Bankrupt: papers being filed right now

Does anyone see a way to survive this? I have 3 kids, insufficient equity to start over, no expected incease of income and will be getting an increase in medical expences.

I'll skip all the personal Dramas, but EX claiming no money still travels, has had 2 cars, gambles, has $600 phone and every video game console available. forged my 1040's to get a bigger alimony deduction. etc. etc. This Peter Pan is 55!

by **napayshni65** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:24 am

First of all take a deep breath. You need to worry about your health first. Perhaps a free counseling service can help you work through the options that you have. Contact United Way Services in your area for a referral. Even a divorced persons support group if not a personal counselor is a good way to go. There are online groups as well as in person. You need to dump that house. It seems to be above your ability to keep it. The forging of the 401K thing is definately something to look into. After you file bankruptcy, it's possible that your creditors will go after husband so he may not be keeping his 2 cars, phone, etc. after they get done. He may end up in bankruptcy court as well but it's not up to you to decide what he can and cannot have. Worry about YOU and your kids!!! Is now the best time to file bankruptcy? If you are expecting more medical bills you may want to wait for them to include in the bankruptcy. If you dump the house prior to the bankruptcy, will you be liable for it if it short sells??? There are many questions that I don't have answers to. You probably have no resource over the past legal experiences you've had but make sure you investigate options, fees, etc. if you take on any new professional services. You can bounce back after bankruptcy but make sure you have everything included to protect yourself. You won't be liable for debts up to your filing but just the day after will make you liable. Think about the house, repair needs, and anything else that you owe or expect to owe. Every state is different so weigh the answers given here very carefully before adding complications to your life. If you think your lawyer was stupid and gave bad advice, wait til you read some of the answers you'll get here. Follow your heart. Take a deep breath. You're on the right path but don't wear a blindfold. You are not the only person in the universe to go through what you have and are going through so realize there are others who have been there. Team up with them with mutual support. Prayer might not help... but will it hurt?

by **erwin** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:29 am

I think bankruptcy in your case is the right thing to do. I would make sure once you are out of it though that your living expenses namely rent expense is manageable. SO for example if you were to lose your job at the very least your unemployment would cover the roof over your head. Make sure you are taking a set amount out of your pay cheques to cover savings. Even if it only is 10$ a week put it away and dont touch it unless things get extreme. Try to pick up a cash job as well. Babysitting after hours, picking up groceries for a neighbor, or dog walking. Remember that this is about survival now and not ego. Keep Your head up.

by **blaeey** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:34 am

Go get a job and rent an apartment. You do not need a house

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