I feel like everything is falling around me; should I drop out?

[calvert]

I'm entering my last year in college and I just can't seem to get it together. All of my other friends have internships, research, jobs, and other things going on; i have a job and research, but none of it is really interesting. I recently failed a class this last semester. It and the prof were really difficult, and I just couldn't get a good grade no matter how hard I had tried. I also took the medical admissions test and did not do so great. It was such a heartbreak to know I can't do well in school or test well and live my dream of becoming a doc. I feel like I don't have anymore direction in my life and nothing goes my way. I just have lost all want to even go back to school in the fall and finish my degree. I have zero motivation whatsoever, and I really just don't wan t to go back. I feel like I will only fail another class and be a huge letdown. I feel so stupid and worthless not being able to perform in class how I want when I try so so so hard. I always had a path growing up. I knew I wanted to be a doctor since I was like eight and always excelled in school. Since I got to college though, that all changed. I barely have a 3.0 and I struggle meeting people. I have to stay in most weekend nights just to finish homework so i can keep up. I'm not even doing that well to be such a nerd. I had such a structured plan growing up, and now I feel as though I will never succeed. My dream is gone and i think about it everyday. My family just told me to get over it and move on but it simply isn't that easy. I feel dead inside
Also, since I've come home for the summer, my dad has been so critical of me. He basically told me I "F^%&ed" up my life and that I should quit school.he is so critical of everything I do and nothing is ever good enough.I try so so so hard to do well and I just can't. I think I am doing something wrong. He's just a rude, nonhelpful person and always tells me I need a plan B blah blah blah. Well I had one if i didn't do the med school route, but since I actually didn't do well on the test, I actually have to put that plan into action. No one wants to pursue their plan B. It hurts me sooo much that a dream I've had since I was eight needs to be let go. Its like losing a family member or something, I can't describe it.
Lastly, to top it all off, I've been having problems in the dating area.I've gone my entire college career without dating someone exclusively. I never wanted to date so badly in my life it literally pains me not have someone to fall back onto or just be there. I'm sick of guys meeting me and saying "youre so beautiful and smart. how are you not dating anyone?..for sure I thought you had a boyfriend" Its like well what's wrong with me then?? Ugh that is painful...I mean I've gone on dates, but I noticed I only ever go on dates with people I almost feel sorry for because i try to be nice and sympathize with the feeling of being alone. there is never attraction on my part. I have been involved with someone, who for the past three years, we've casually hooked up. no dates have ever come of it, nothing has ever happened. nada. now and again we'll hook up, but I'm not going to lie, this guy is filth. He will literally screw any girl with a pulse and thinks he is something, let me tell you. He will be with like three to five girls at a time and act like a total ***. Sure, he may have said a drunken I love you, but he has hurt me so many times. he said he clearly wasn't attracted to me anymore and that we "had a good run".....I stopped talking to him for a month and half. didn't care, and got over him. Easy right? no, he came back and we started hooking up again..we got close soon thereafter and he was just different. He was nicer, almost like a boyfriend. But then he went away for a month, and he was just different after that. He never called or texted and after a hookup he said i "was boring". again i didn't talk to him until he texted me again. another month. This time we ended up going to the bar and what not. There haven't been any hookups for a long time, and this was no exception. I almost feel like I was trash and thrown away.
Ugh. so much for a structure to my life.

[artek57]

Things Are Going To Be Hard But You Have To Strive For What You Want And If You Drop Out Then You'll Be Thinking What If.


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