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[philibert63]

My boyfriend's family is coming to town (parents, brother, sister in law and two kids) and his mother told my boyfriend that she is taking our master bedroom with her husband and the kids, while his brother and sister in law will take our second bedroom and my boyfriend and i can take the living room. This arrangement is set for 9 days.

I'm not upset that his mother is taking the bedroom, but i am upset that she volunteered our second bedroom without even considering me in the mix. I'm upset that my boyfriend didn't consider how i would feel about all this and agreed to her demands without even consulting me first. I'm also upset that he doesn't understand my situation or understand how uncomfortable i am going to feel for 9 days living in the living room without privacy.

Do i have a valid reason to be upset or am i overreacting? Has anyone been in similar situations? what would you do in this situation? Should i suck it up?

[avikar76]

no, ur privacy is being invaded. tell her bf that he should have considered ur opinion, and since it IS your house right. let him know, and maybe he'll let his mum know. You;re not over reacting, and you should be upset. your freedom is violated and so are your rights!

[ayize]

You've been dating, lets say... Nine years sounds good, maybe a little high. She's been his mother for... Thirty?

Mom always wins. Mom innocently says, "We're coming to visit", and your boyfriend must make all possible arrangements to accommodate her. Because she's mom! The days of spanking and timeouts and penalties are gone but not forgotten!

[berwin]

No. You're not overreacting. It's your house, they are guests. She should respect this. Offer the second bedroom to the parents and the living room to the others. If this upsets them, point out that 9 days is a long time to go without "intimacy" and that you would prefer it if the kids did not walk in on you. ;) Not putting your foot down opens you up to being pushed around for many years by this woman.

[edin]

I wouldn't be upset about having to live in the living room for 9 days, I would be livid that SHE has told me what was happening in MY home and not letting me make the decision myself.

I would also be angry with my boyfriend that he didn't say "let us make the decision and we will get back to you".

What would I do in this situation? I would make a point that they don't treat me like that in my house and tell them that actually my boyfriend and I would be sleeping in our bed and his parents in the living room with his brother and sister in law with the children in the spare bedroom.

Either that or I would give them a number of a local hotel.

If my boyfriend had a problem with that (which I think he will have trouble understanding), I would explain that I am making a point in that they can't tell me what to do in my home and if they learn that and respect me and my home, then on the next visit I would consider letting them have a room.

KD