If I feel all alone and useless does that make me evil?

[joachim]

I really don't have a problem with myself. Other people around me have a problem with me. No matter where I go or what I do someone will have a problem with me, even law enforcement will tag me for jay walking or even loitering if I sleep in my office with no money for bus fare. That means I am hated! That means being kind stands for nothing because a law is a law and it can always be broken and ignorance or forgetfulness will not shield the punishment. It will come! So therefore I probably deserve death for every time I've ever hurt someone's feelings or neglected a chore or jay walked or earned a D or F on a test or in a class. All of these things mean that people will hate me for my flaws. I have very critical relatives who seem to stigmatize every thing I do that doesn't make any sense to them well that's their problem. Not mine. But if I saw that to a law enforcement officer he won't care. He'll put me in a cell which isn't that bad because it is government and tax funded shelter. If the people behind bars where there as homeless people and there was no negative attention like violence or murder attached to prisons or jails they would probably be referred to as shelters since most people not serving life sentences in L.A. get dumped on Skid Row after their release. I wonder if thousands of homeless people everywhere would get locked up for loitering for sleeping on the street if the police made it a top priority since my mom told me I could get arrested for sleeping in the bathroom of my job where I work then that must apply to people sleeping on bus stop benches around where I live in San Fernando Valley, California. They must be loitering too sleeping on public property. I just don't see squad cars picking them up. Kind of gives me an idea of how life would be for me if I was homeless: always on the run fearing some cop car is going to come up to me and they will label me a criminal simply for sleeping in a park or in a building that society and legal officials consider public property. I guess the only place a homeless guy can go and not get tossed in a cell (jail/prison) is a shelter. Everything they treat you like you just murdered somebody because they put you in jail so I guess loitering is the same as murder since you get locked up no matter whether you were harming someone or not. I guess intentions count for NOTHING in society today! Laws are set up to punish people I guess and make them feel like garbage all the time! Guess I should go live in the sewers like Splinter and the Ninja Turtles. That will fix everything.

[dureau]

no it doesn't. it will make you hate ur self and do stupid and sometime harmful things.
i should know cuz thats what i do when i feel lonely or rejected

[ern]

Fix everything for whom? Sure won't fix anything for you.

Mate, you're never alone. There's always someone thinking of you and of course you're not evil.

It'll all pick up eventually for you, Just gotta hang in there.