Is there any way you can find out who called DFS on you?

by **varik** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:41 pm

My best friend is a fantastic, single, mother. Before her baby was born she was a party girl, didn't ever live on her own, and needed everyone's help all the time. Since she had the baby she's really pulled her life together. She has a good management job, she has her own apt., and other than some babysitting from her mother she lives completely self suffiently. She's good to her son, he is not quite an year and a half yet and already has a 30 word vocabulary. He's already showing interest in potty training. He also seems to understand things better than other children his age. However, someone keeps calling DFS on her. Every time they come out she shows them how good of a parent she is, and they always walk out happy with her living situation, but they still keep calling. She thinks it may be her baby daddy doing it because he thinks if the state takes the baby away, he won't have to pay child support. Which isn't true. Either they would give him custody that he doesn't want, or he would pay to the state. I think it may be her ex friend who lives in another state and has never seen how she lives. She still thinks of my friend like she was before having the baby and no amount of telling her otherwise will change her mind. She needs to find out who it is so she can sue them for slander. It disrupts her life, and this last time they called she had just had surgery, and had to deal with dfs while in excruciating pain.

by **chay** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:51 pm

They have to come out to investigate EVERY time they are called. They do not have to divulge who reported you.
After 3 or 4 times the DFS knows this is a vindictive thing and they may take the matter into their own hands...without you knowing it. You can tell them the next time they visit you are seeking the advise of a lawyer.

by **caelin** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:55 pm

personally i know that in new jersey you can call with out giving away your name. most of the time the case workers that come out dont even know who calls in because they get the message and sent out to the house to investigae. call around to get more information, each state should have a main dyfs abuse center...in new jersey its trenton

by **crom** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:58 pm

No, calls to DFS can be anonymous if requested by the caller.

by **weiford** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:07 pm

After about the 5th time, I would get a good attorney who would get a restraining order on the DFS people. If they haven't made a case after 5 times, someone is just doing it for harassment.

A good attorney will put a stop to it.

by **reid** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:13 pm

The calls are anonymous and confidential because there are real cases of abuse. Since she is a great mother and has nothing to hide DFS coming to her house could actually make her life better. For instance you said she just had surgery - they would assist her in getting a child care aide, if she is into the low income group or temporally unable to work.

When people do mean spirited things like this, the best revenge is to turn the table on them - and make it work for her. Then she can send out a message that had this person never called her DFS in an attempt to make her look bad she would never have gotten the assistance she needed - tell her to check into food stamps; job training programs - the next time DFS worker comes through she should treat them with respect and get all that she can for free.

by **drystan** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:18 pm

I fully don't think she can find out due to the confidentiality of all of it. I will pray that the person who does will stop. I am glad your friend has gotten her life together and has proven over and over and over that she is a good mother. Eventually they will stop. Maybe she can talk to a lawyer and see what she can do legally. Maybe they can contact the person who keeps calling since she cannot.

by **nemausus36** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:21 pm

Tell her to file a case for harassment. Nobody has the right to constantly come over for the same reason when every single time they do, they find everything to be alright.

If they come over two or three times and see everything is alright, they have no reason to come over any more.

They will probably end up tracking down the caller for you after this, because DFS may be obliged to respond to all of their calls.

If DFS doesn't find anything the first or second time, why come a third and forth time?

by **vohkinne** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:30 pm

Most DFS are required to investigate reports whether they are credible or not. The reporter is protected. The legislatures did that to get people to report suspected child abuse and/or neglect. Your friend has nothing to hide so she should let them in. They are actually documenting how good a parent she is so if she gets into a custody fight with the baby's father she can present it to the judge. If it continues, she may need to get a lawyer. But that is going to cost her money that could be going toward the baby and her household. The judge in family court may be able to determine whether it is the father who is making the false reports. If she gives the reporter power by talking about suing them for slander etc., he/she will continue to do it. It a means to get to her. She needs to temper her reaction so the reporter no longer gets any satisfaction from reporting her. In essence, she needs to change the game so the reporter gives up. She can not get mad at DFS. Her attitude there should be friendly, open, and give me the stamp of approval that I am a good parent. But with you,her mother,and lawyer, she is allowed to yell and scream about it.

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