Law-Forums.org

[roche]

I live in MO and there is a man that comes in the restaurant where i work and sits for 2 hours and reads some but watches me more.
He has brought a camera in and taken our photos. i told him to stop...which he did not. He then took those photos and used them to paste my face on naked bodies and use them as book markers. i completely avoid him now...wont even look at him and this seems to agitate him even more. he has left me letters wanting to know if i want to see the pics and such. its almost like he thinks im his GF. My boss actually tried to hide one of the letters from me (i keep them for eveidence in casei need them in the future) ..boss says this man spends $7 a day and i may not need his dollar but she does. then she asked if i PROVOKED him...was i TOO nice..not NICE enough...WTF?? Yea...a FEMALE boss asked me this!
My gut is screaming to stay away from him...i NEVER listen to my gut but it wont stfu this time so i kinda have to. i am an emotional wreck over all this. its bad enough that i went to the doc and got some anti-anxiety meds to take for when he comes in. hes real methodical. comes in Same time EVERY day. eats the SAME thing every day. i am secretly job hunting after working for this family run place for 6 years!! I guess what im wondering is if there are any labor laws or anything of that sort since shes basically telling him he can do what he wants as long as he pays. any help is Greatly appreciated!

[siwili]

First off, you're doing a good thing by looking for another job; clearly you are putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation every time you show up at work, and you boss has no intention of looking out for her employees, only th money that pours in.

Because your boss is not stepping up to the plate like she's supposed to, (which violates several labor statutes in itself), it's up to you to take matters into your own hands. Here's a few things you can do:

1. Document anything of importance: if he tries to talk to you, make a mental note of the things he says, and when he leaves, jot it down on a napkin or something. if you were to ever press charges against him, some of the things he said could incriminate himself.

2. Get a hold of those photos (or at least get them away from him): It may seem uncomfortable to have them in you possession, but it serves 2 purposes- as long as he doesn't have them, he can't spam them to anyone, and they are ideal evidence against him if you press charges.

3. As long as you're working at this restaurant, keep your distance from him unless someone else is around. I understand that waiting tables involves a lot of communication with customers, but if the restaurant has multiple waitresses, consider switching tables with someone else, (switching with a male waiter is the most ideal). An when you're just standing around (eg. behind a cash), try standing near a male- it'll deter the guy from gawking at you when someone else is monitoring him. Males will be more protective than a female in some cases (ie your female boss)

4. Get the police involved: Based on your description, this guy is stalking you, and that can be dangerous if it's not taken care of. Here's why:
a) If he's taking photos of you, God only knows where they're ending up- they could go beyond book markers to being spread over the internet etc. and that can put you in a whole slew of unpleasant predicaments.
b) If he's watching you as intently as you suggest, he may not just be simply interested in you, he may be literally fantasizing about you, and when guys start fantasizing, they run the risk of doing things that can put you at risk.
c) Clearly you feel emotionally threatened, and that means harassment. Harassment is against the law- police agencies have special departments that deal exclusively with sexual harassment, because it is carries such a tremendous burden for victims
d) If the police charge this guy with harassing you, depending on certain factors, you may be eligible for a protective order so that he's forced to stay away from you. Or if severe enough, this guy could wind up behind bars (it's hard to say, because I don't know all the details).

I've dealt with lots of women who have been in your situation- it's not very pleasant, and it takes a huge toll emotionally. But if you take all the necessary steps, you will feel a lot more at ease.

Best regards

[chatima]

If your manager won't budge, it's time to get the police involved. Perhaps call the non-emergency number when you aren't at work and explain the situation.

[kenway]

"Notify the police"
Also try and get a restraining order.

[gillivray5]

Start looking for people who can help you. You have a classic case of harassment, and your employer is wrong. Her reasoning is wrong. If he was groping you, or her daughter, the $7 a day would still have priority? Just not a justification. Has to be contravening some labor laws.

Try a Women's Help Center, women's rights center of any kind. Local Legal Aid. If they can't help you, they can direct you to who can.

Contact the state Labor Dept. I know some states have weak worker protection, but you won't know until you try.

My brother was getting ripped off when employed as a teenager at a summer camp. He contacted the Labor Dept. They were very interested, and investigated the guy five ways from Sunday. He was breaking so many laws. Not the same as your case but the point is my brother didn't think Labor would be interested in one kid in a low level job - but they listened to him, took him very seriously.

Good luck. You shouldn't have to deal with this wacko.

[darrell]

Contact the police on the non-emergency line to make a formal complaint, just in case he escalates. In addition, I'd contact the labor board and an attorney, no employee should be harassed while at the workplace regardless of who is doing it, depending on the environment you work in and since you said family run restaurant I'm assuming its a family restaurant not a booty type establishment. After finding out if you are in the right, I'd then ask if before pursuing anything if you can ask your boss to reconsider her position by asking if that $7/day is worth a lawsuit if she don't put a stop to it. If an attorney advises against that last part refrain, but that's where I'd start.