Molestation By An Aunt

[Robbin]

I was fondled as a young child by my aunt, she was in her teens and living with my family when I was a child.  For years, I had a memory of her making me play house with her as a child and pretending to breast feed, she would make me pretend I was her baby and then hold me and make me suckle her breast while watching in the mirror.  Now, I am nearly 40 and our relationship has been very extreme, recently, she refused to speak to me and is attempting to isolate other family members from me, reasons I am not clear on.  That's when it dawned on me that perhaps she remembers the fondling she did to me and is attempting to isolate me from family in case I were to remember the incident as well and tell others about it.  I denied this happened until last year when I finally got the courage to ask my older brother if anything weird after happened to him as a child with this Aunt, I hate to say it, but I was relieved when he too was fondled by her and made him touch her in a sexual way.  ALLL my life I had these memories but locked them away thinking it was all a bad dream, and even if they did happen, no one would believe me.  Now that I know that it happened to my brother as well I am trying to forgive her and move on.  But I am also very angry with how she is attempting to turn the rest of my family against me and isolate me, now I at least know why.  Do I confront her and do I tell the family she has turned against me about what she did?  When I ask the family members why they don't want to speak to me, they just say that I need help and I was mean to my Aunt.  WHAT DO THEY MEAN I NEED HELP, if only they knew what she did.  But I want to be the better person and know that if she remembers what she did, she is living in her own hell.  now I am spending the Holidays alone with my husband and two beautiful daughters.  I finally realize why I refused to breast feed them, I felt it was "repulsive", and never knew why until recently.  My daughters suffered because of how she made breastfeeding a sexual act.  UGHHHHH, the more I talk about it the angrier I get.  Please any advice would be very welcomed.

[Zain]

Kate... Perhaps, both you and your brother should contact her jointly and tell her what your memories of here were all about and that you were both traumatized by her actions. You could either do this directly or in a letter that you could share with your parents, then with other family members, if your aunt doesn't back off and apologize for her actions of the past. Maybe sending a copy of this question to her might get her back on track. An accepted apology would go far to help heal this issue between you all.

No doubt, she is probably living in fear and shame for what she did in the past and is trying to divert attention from herself. If she has any sense about her, she will apologize and make amends. Otherwise, you two can up-end her little charade very soon, after you warn her of what is to come. Do consider the unconscious acts of many teens, especially about sexual issues and know that she was being driven by something or some thought that inspired her behavior. I don't think that it was necessarily malicious, just thoughtless about the effects on young children in her charge.

So, with that said, you obviously need some relief from your traumatic sessions with her, which can probably be accomplished with one or two EFT sessions guided by an experienced practitioner. Check the EFT site info out at www.emofree.com for a free EFT manual download and list of practitioners who might be nearby to assist you in releasing these feelings of the past.

The holidays often bring out the worst of behaviors in those who need help the worst. I hope that you have a resolution that brings you peace in your mind and heart, so that next holiday season you will be able to enjoy it to the fullest.

Best wishes,

William Silver