MY BABY DAD WANT JOINT CUSTODY OF MY UNBORN DAUGHTER BUT I DONT WHAT CAN I DO?

by **sonny** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:24 pm

WELL IM GOING THROUGH THIS BIG PROBLEM IM NOT WITH THE BABY FATHER HE HASNT BEEN HERE THROUGH MY PREGNANCY IM 5 MONTHS PREGNANT AND ALL HE HAS DONE IS THREATING ME THAT HE GOING TO TAKE ME TO COURT TO GET JOINT CUSTODY CUZ HE WANT 50/50 BUT I DONT CUZ I DONT WANT MY DAUGHTER STAYIN IN ANOTHER PLACE N GROW SOMEWHERE ELSE NOW THAT SHE GOING TO BE JUST A NEWBORN WELL I TOLD HIM THAT HE CAN COME AND SEE HER BUT HE NOT GOING TO TAKE HER UNTIL SHE A LITTLE OLDER THEN HE CAN TAKE HER ON WEEKENDS BUT WE DONT AGREE HE JUST BEEN PUTTING ME THROUGH STRESS ALL THIS MONTHS HE JUST WANT THINGS HIS WAY I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT IS THE LAW IN PENNSYLVANIA HE USE TO SELL DRUGS WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER WITH HIS DAD BUT I CANT SAY THAT IN COURT CUZ I DONT HAVE PROFF BUT HE SMOKES WEED IDK IF HE STILL DOES CUZ I DONT SEE HIM ALL HE DO IS TEXT ME TO TORTURE ME ABOUT TAKING ME TO COURT I JUST HATE GOING THROUGH THIS WHAT KIND OF JOINT CUSTODY WILL THE JUDGE GIVE IF WE DONT AGREE AND HOW IS IT??

by **gillian59** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:41 pm

If you can't agree on joint it usually goes to the usual every other weekend deal.
Good luck!

by **jarel** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:49 pm

Looks to me like you're headed to court.

Should have chosen a better baby daddy.

by **caffar** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:54 pm

you don't get a say in the matter it's HIS daughter as much as yours! If you didn't want to share your child you should have gone to a sperm bank to get pregnant! There is NO REASON he can't take as good of care of her as an infant as you can and maybe better! He doesn't have to be there for you during your pregnancy that has nothing to do with him getting to see her, have her, and be a FATHER to her after she's born! He'll get shared custody of her just like he should! NOBODY feels sorry for you, you brought this situation on yourself, now deal with it!

by **orson19** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:55 pm

First thing take off your caps because it does make it harder to read. Do not pay any attention to him. This is your child and until he can prove that then there isn't anything he can do about it. Once he proves he is the baby's father he will be given the opportunity to pay child support. He will have to go to court and ask for visitation, and if he wants joint custody. Joint custody just means he shares the custody with you, but since you where never married he is the one that has to prove everything in court. It will cost him money to do all this, and don't get me wrong, I don't think he will. He is just trying to make your life miserable, and you are letting him. Block his calls, and texts, you are under no obligation to have contact with him especially when he is only doing it to give you a bad time. Right now the most important thing you need to do is take care of yourself so you can take care of Your child. Congratulations it will be worth every thing you are going through.

by **modraed** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:04 pm

If you don't agree on custody, you'll go to a mediator. That's someone who will try to resolve it between you both and come up with a plan that makes both of you happy and works in the best interests of the baby.

But I can tell you right now, he doesn't have a safe crib, clean bedroom for her, stacks of diapers, toys to stimulate the baby, a clean safe apartment, lots of formula, a dresser filled with clean clothes for the baby, etc he can say goodbye to taking the baby anywhere!! The courts won't allow it.

By they way, YOU better have all that ready too because if you can't reach an agreement by mediator then the court will send an assessor to see both of your homes and see who is better equipped to raise the baby. Psycologists will be required to interview each of you. If you're not in a good position to raise this baby, YOU could lose her too. So before you open that can of worms, think fairly and kindly about the father because once the courts are involved, you can't stop it. It will be like a freight train running at you!

Best to act like an adult and focus solely on what's best for the baby. Lastly, get rid of your cell phone and don't give him the number. You don't need the added stress of his harrassment. Keep your prevoius bills in case you need to prove your harassment.

Good luck to all 3 of you - I think you're all gonna need it!

by **ern** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:10 pm

If you don't agree on custody, you'll go to a mediator. That's someone who will try to resolve it between you both and come up with a plan that makes both of you happy and works in the best interests of the baby.

But I can tell you right now, he doesn't have a safe crib, clean bedroom for her, stacks of diapers, toys to stimulate the baby, a clean safe apartment, lots of formula, a dresser filled with clean clothes for the baby, etc he can say goodbye to taking the baby anywhere!! The courts won't allow it.

By they way, YOU better have all that ready too because if you can't reach an agreement by mediator then the court will send an assessor to see both of your homes and see who is better equipped to raise the baby. Psycologists will be required to interview each of you. If you're not in a good position to raise this baby, YOU could lose her too. So before you open that can of worms, think fairly and kindly about the father because once the courts are involved, you can't stop it. It will be like a freight train running at you!

Best to act like an adult and focus solely on what's best for the baby. Lastly, get rid of your cell phone and don't give him the number. You don't need the added stress of his harrassment. Keep your prevoius bills in case you need to prove your harassment.

Good luck to all 3 of you - I think you're all gonna need it!

A father has rights to the custody of his child just as much as the mother does. If either of you are unfit, that would be the cause for custody not to be granted. Just like women USED TO BE granted full custody simply because they had the child, more and more fathers are recognized as being able to manage the upbringing of a child as well as any mother. Kinda unfortunate a lot of us don't think about these things when we're having sex... The thing is, you don't have to agree with him and he doesn't have to agree with you. It will be the judge's decision if you two don't work it out. Just be certain you're a capable mom.

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