Read the beggining of my story?

[achimelech51]

It was a sea of yellow and orange on the grand stand. I see Mayor Ysabella standing infront raising a brow forming an arc. Her hair this time purple as a lavender, her lips red as a roseblooming. I can see she wears a rainbow pin over her shoulder.
"Stella! Stella! I'm over here!" Vannesa, my friend, shouted. She was dazzling in her orange dress. We hugged each other; that is our trademark hugging each other as a sign of respect and gratitude. As soon as I was about to talk to her, the microphone squeaked and Mayor Ysabella spoke,

"Good Morning,as you can see all members of the Peaceful Sector are in here. There will be an important announcement that all of you should hear. The Palace declared that there will be a contest between the sectors of Constantia and its not just any contest. Its brutal, its morbid, the contenders will fight each other and kill each other regardless of sector until two remain standing. And as far as I can remember, we the members of Sector D.."

"promise not to fight, back stab, hold a grudge to anyone each other no matter what in order to bring peace to the world." We continued to recite the Pledge to Peace.

I looked at Mayor Ysabella. Her eyes were dull, she was so worried. I can tell she don't like the competition the Palace had launched. She continued speaking, "but it is a must. The Sector that will not participate will be the slaves of all sectors and we don't like that. Do we? We would not hold any event for which we would choose our contenders. The Palace needs four members of the sectors to participate. Four contenders means loss of four lives. The victors of the quest will receive a prize THe Palace didn't say. Anyone who wish to participate may go at The Hall anytime up to tomorrow. Thank you. And oh, there are free cupcakes at the corner. One for everyone!" She chuckled.

I suddenly became nervous. I want to join the quest. Joining the quest means leaving your family behind, riskiing your own life and betraying the sector pledge. But if no one joined, we will be the slaves of the sectors. I am confused. I grabbed my cupcake and took a bite. Yum, chocolate and mango.

"Hey, Stella. Are you joining the quest?" Vanessa out of nowhere suddenly asked.
"I don't know, I'm still thinking about it. How about yuou, 'Nessa?" I replied.
"Yes, I am. Gramps trained me when I was young so I know how to do many things and to defend myself. You should join! Who knows, you might be the champion!"
"Haha. Have you tried the cupcakes? They're beautiful!"
"Yes. I made those!"
"Really? Wow, you're so great! I didn't know you make pastries!"
"Yeah. My grand mother taught me how to bake. I made blueberries, chocolates, apple and cara--"
"Stella Dimlight and Vannessa Evergreen, please proceed to The Hall right away. Thank you."

// So, I started a new story called, "The Animo Quest". It is based on The Hunger Games and Divergent but it is not a fan fiction. SO what do you think of it? And is The Animo QUest a good title? I can't think of any other. Thankss! :)

[chen12]

Is this a parody? If so, you did really well! ?????
If this is supposed to be taken seriously, then, well ?????.

[adelphos]

Is this a parody? If so, you did really well! ?????
If this is supposed to be taken seriously, then, well ?????.

This IS a fanfiction. You don't have to be working with the same characters to have your story considered a fanfiction. Your characters name is Vanessa Evergreen (Katniss Everdeen ring a bell?).

[kirklin]

um, okay. you obviously know something about writing. before you continue, i suggest reading more dystopian. Shatter Me, Legend, hmmm.... Starters. Read all of those. DO IT! if you don't, your writing will be more... uninteresting. keeping pace and interest is key to writing. this (above) didnt have much pace. it went in so many directions. cupcakes to quests to a grandpa. keep with subject. dont believe me? go re-read hunger games. look at the words. they form analogies, and fore-shadowing. this doesn't. keep writing, it will get better.