Should i sign the prenup?

[jolie95]

so after a long talk about the relationship now i know why he doesn't want to marry yet hes afraid of the divorce rates being so high and after seeing his male friends and family members divorced and the divorce laws favoring women in court and scared of me taking his future kids away from him if it doesnt work out

and would only be at ease if i sign a pre nup promising to never cheat on him and never leave him or divorce him no mattter how hard the marriage gets unless he does something illegal or something to harm me and the children that puts us at danger or risk or is found to be unfaithful

and in the case of a divorce only assets split 50/50 will be any amount in a joint account and any land property that i have cosigned with on him and he pays no alimony but he will pay for child support

if one person is caught being unfaithful he or she must relinquish all assets and property as well as full child custody to the one that was cheated on for compensation and the one that was cheated on is allowed to stay at the home with the kids but the one who cheated must move out

he says he doesn't care about money he just wants to have some type of insurance that ill stay with him and remain faithful to only him

[emilek17]

Take the prenuptual agreement and talk it over with a lawyer.

I doubt if one can sign a control to never cheat, never leave.

As for the rest, laws vary from place to place.
Where I live, any assets acquired during the marriage are split 50/50. Any assets acquired before the marriage stay with whoever they belonged to initially.
There's not alimony, but there is child support. The courts ensure that the children are taken care of.

You cannot enforce an illegal agreement. His clause about "relinquish all assets etc" if caught being unfaithful is NOT legal where I live. The courts do not care who wronged who, and all assets acquired during the marriage are split 50/50, and no agreement (pre-nup) can violate the laws of that.

This guy has seriously psychological issues. Enough to seriously compromise his ability to trust enough to build an intimate, successful marriage.
After you finish talking to a lawyer, go by yourself to talk with a marriage counselor .. find out what obstacles there will be to a good marriage with this man. They will be considerable obstacles.

I don't think I'd marry him .. not even if he was the best catch in the world. There is no hell worse than a bad marriage, and I don't think he has what it takes to make it work. He thinks a document will put his fears at ease .. he is wrong (yes, ask the counselor about that, too).

Take your time thinking about whether or not to sign, and only after you have consulted with both a lawyer and a marriage counselor.

[fenwick]

Sounds like there is a TREMENDOUS lack of trust in your relationship.

Would I sign a pre-nup for the reasons you stated? No, because I think its creepy that there are so many stipulations in it.......which again just SHOUTS out lack of trust ..... kinda like someone waiting for a train wreck to happen by first going to an insurance company and buying a whole pile of insurance.

[warton26]

The divorce rates are not so high. That is an urban myth.
http://www.scu.edu/ethics/publications/iie/v9n2/divorce.html

If you do not shack up before marriage, and wait until you are adults, which is not age 18, first marriages last a lifetime.

Should We Live Together?
What Young Adults Need to Know about Cohabitation before Marriage
David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead
Rutgers University Study
Cohabiting couples breakup three times more than married couples. Cohabiting couples that later marry have a 46% higher rate of divorce than those who did not cohabit prior to marriage.
http://www.virginia.edu/marriageproject/pdfs/swlt2.pdf
http://www.squidoo.com/PriceOfShackingUp
http://squidoo.com/RightAgeToGetMarried

[shen86]

That is a reverse prenup...it seems to go the other way around so that if you divorce him then normal rule apply (you get his stuff) but if he cheats on you then you get all his stuff...worst idea ever, please slap him in the face and tell him to get someone else to write up a prenup.