Sick of how my mom has been acting since she and my dad split up?

[emek]

Sorry if this is long.

I am 19. I have a 24-year-old sister and a 26-year-old brother who no longer live at home. My parents have been married for 30 years but I've never seen them have a good relationship. I've never seen them be violent or abusive to each other, I've just never really seen them talk much to each other or be affectionate or anything. About 2 years ago my mom basically kicked my dad out of the house and he went to live with his parents 3 hours away. In June 2011 I moved there to be with him and his side of the family, and 6 months later I came back because I missed my friends. Now it's just my mom and me living in our big house.

As far as I know, my dad never really did anything wrong. Sure, he was never a perfect husband or father, but unless there's something no one ever told me about, he didn't do anything majorly wrong. But my mom has never forgiven him for the minor mistakes he has made, and takes every chance she gets to slander him and complain about him to me and all her friends. I'm sick of it. I love both my parents and I hate being stuck in the middle (my dad complains to me about my mom as well). Besides that, under the terms of their separation, my dad is only required to give my mom enough support money for one person since I'm an adult, and I can't find a job, so I have to hear my mom constantly complain about being poor, being lonely, being starving, having to pay for my textbooks, having to pay for my car repairs, etc. etc. etc. Whenever she complains, I want to say, "Maybe you should have thought about that before you kicked my dad out." I try to be patient and kind to her, be as little of an inconvenience as possible, and not criticize her because I know she's probably hurt too, but I can't stand living with her anymore. She is constantly stressed out, acts like everything is my dad's fault, doesn't take any responsibility for her actions or problems, and acts like it's a huge inconvenience to have to help me out. She also makes a point of referring to my dad as her ex and attending singles events even though they're still married.

I recently got a job, but on my way there on my 4th day (a week ago), my car broke down and my employer said if it happens again I'm fired. I don't know when I'll be able to get it fixed because I showed my mother where water is leaking from a crack in my radiator and she still doesn't believe me that it's leaking and needs to be replaced. I suggested (half-sarcastically) that I just sell my car and drop all my classes to save money, and she said I wouldn't have a future if I did that.

When I graduate from college, I might be able to get a decent job and finally move out (if the economy doesn't still suck), but until then, I don't know how to deal with the stress of living with my mom. We don't live close to civilization and I don't have any money, so I don't really have the option of leaving the house unless I ask my friends to pay for everything. And if and when I CAN finally afford to move out, my mom is probably going to make me feel guilty about leaving her all alone, because she did that last summer.

[starling]

It's just something you have to deal with in life

[valentino]

Funny how you find out where you came from.

No wonder father was annoyed all the time, no wonder mother lost her mind.

When you move out and doing your own thing, who will watch over her?
This is your family.
She may be a *****, but she gave you life, I know, it sucks.

You are so much stronger than most.