Sleeping Arrangments

[Wycliff]

I have two children who are a boy,7 and a daughter,6. Their father gets every other weekend visitation. He has in the past year bounced back and forth between a girl he was seeing and his brothers home. After a battle at court he finally got beds for the children while at his girlfriends house but has since then been staying at his brothers where there are no beds for them and they sleep in his bed with him, in a room that is a storage room and has an open toilet in it. I have addressed my concerns with my attorney, but she told me that the children can not be used as witnesses to testify to it and that I would need an adult. We actually had it written in our custody order that he is to have separate beds and three days after court the kids went for the weekend visit and again reported to me that they slept in his bed again. I am at a loss,no one seems to be able to help me and no one in his family is going to "tattle" so I will have a witness. What can I do?

ANSWER: Heather,

DISCLAIMER:

I AM NOT A LAWYER or ATTORNEY. I am someone who has experience with family law issues, and am sharing my OPINION only. For the exact law as it pertains to your specific case contact a Professional Attorney in your area/county/country.

Request a 'Child ad lidem' so this person can observe both living arrangements and the children would not need to be invovled.  Based on your information you have enough to request such action.

Good Luck,

Jeff

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

I want to thank you for the quick response. But is an "child ad idem" the same as court appointed law guardian? If it is, my children have already spoke to him, but he also said that what he talks to the children about can not be used as testimony, because there is no one to cross examine them. I also have a court appointed lawyer who has told me that if I file this violation so soon after our court appearance that it could look bad on me because I am constantly taking him back, or crying wolf as she put it. When we went to trial last time, I had to withdraw my petition against him because I didn't have enough evidence and because last year I held the kids from him for not having proper sleeping arrangements because he kept taking them from place to place because he was being kicked out of the places he was staying. I know I was wrong but he waited nine months to take me back to court for a violation. This is an ongoing issue, not to mention that he showed up here last Friday with only one child seat and there are two children. I also addressed this issue with my lawyer along with him drinking around my children,which is also directly written in our court order. But again my kids are the only witness. My attorney tells me write everything down and I do, even when I speak to her and what she advises, but that's what I have been doing and has gotten me no where. I was lectured be the judge about not "self helping" and taking the custody issue in my own hands and how I can come to them anytime I have concerns. Obviously my ex could care less about what the court order says and then my lawyer tells me to wait. I feel I have very just concerns for my children but how do I prove it. The kids repeatedly tell me they do not want to go and I feel like I have to force them and it's an awful feeling as a mother. I will take any knowledge you have or dig up.  My kids deserve the best whether it is from me or their father or the court system who is suppose to protect them. But I feel I am fighting a loosing battle.

[Maurice]

Heather,

A court appointed law guardian vs a child ad idem is different to my understanding: A 'chid ad litem' looks out for the child: They are appointed by the Court to look at such things as the childs environments, the parenting, the 'bonding' of the children to each parent', Who does the child bond better with, feels more comfortable with, etc. What is the sleeping arrangements in both homes(Mom's and Dad's): Has Mom or Dad been arrested for DUI or caught drinking in front of kids?:  You can submit your concerns in writing and so can Dad to the Child Ad litem who may or may not investigate depending on the authenticity of the complaint which means if you have multiple witness who will state in writing and support what you say, this would carry more weight and taken seriously:  Once they observe each parents environment and support group they create a report which is submitted to the Court which will take this under consideration for example in appointing the 'PRIMARY' parent or in your case the visitation rights of said father.

Now a A law guardian is nothing more and nothing less than an attorney for the child who is appointed by the court; is an equal to all other lawyers appearing in the case; subject to the same rules of conduct and ethics; and must actively represent his or her client, the child.

A law guardian is the attorney for the child, and must take an active role in the proceedings. The law guardian’s role is to advocate for his or her client to the court, as would any other attorney for any other client. A law guardian is but one attorney equal to the other attorneys, and bound by the same rules.(FN8) Thus, a law guardian may not have communication with any party represented by an attorney, outside the presence of the attorney and without the permission of the attorney for that party. In that role as attorney for the child, as opposed to the role of an attorney for one of the parties, the law guardian has a dual role pursuant to statute. He or she must both represent the wishes of the child, and advocate for the child’s best interests. “Because the result desired by the child and the result that is in the child's best interest may diverge, Law Guardians sometimes face a conflict in such advocacy ... ‘it is helpful to a resolution of that conflict to note that the child's preference is just one factor the trial court will consider.’”

What is the major differences:  The child ad litem has contact with BOTH MOM and DAD and reviews there environments in which they are growing up in: The Law Guardian is the offical attorney representing the children: THEY cannot have any  contact with opposing parties which means MOM or DAD..because they represent the child and must do so unbiased by either party.

They can review the report that the Child ad litem completes and submits to the courts and each lawyer(Mom's, Dad's, and Child's).  

That is the differences sooooo  get a child ad litem request started for the benifit of your case, OK.

good Luck

Jeff

(guardian ad idem for the child,