What do I do for bridesmaids if I don't have many girlfriends?

by **vipponah** » Wed May 23, 2012 7:48 pm

Between my fiance's friends, his brothers and my only brother we have plenty of groomsmen. Not so much with the bridesmaids, however. Neither of us have sisters and my brother isn't married. And I have a small family so I don't have any cousins that I could ask (or would want to ask).

I probably sound anti-social, but unless I see people in person I'm not good at keeping in contact with them. And I've been traveling abroad for work since college so I haven't seen my friends regularly for several years now. So I almost feel guilty for asking a couple of my high school friends. Although I'm 25 so it's not like I haven't gone years and years without seeing them. Soon I'll be returning to the U.S. because my fiance is in the military and has new orders stateside. So I'll be seeing more of them shortly.

Really I'm just trying to get by with the minimum amount of bridesmaids. As long as I can match the number of groomsmen I'm fine with that. Two high school friends I kept in pretty good contact so I'll likely ask them. And my fiance, myself and my soon-to-be sister in law get along well so I'd like to ask her. But I'm still short a bridesmaid. I could ask a friend that I haven't talked with much recently. Or we could ask my fiance's cousin.

Ugh, I'm getting stressed by the wedding details already! At least this is a smaller wedding that doesn't have a huge wedding party. Four of each is more than plenty! Who do you think I should ask: my distant friend or my fiance's cousin? And I'm open to any other suggestions as well.

Lastly, do you think it will look odd it the wedding party has disproportioned connections to my fiance? The majority will either be his friends or his relatives.

Thanks for your help!

by **link** » Wed May 23, 2012 8:01 pm

it is your wedding day for you and your mate; not a show for anyone outside you could even advertise in the press for any little girl who always wanted to be a bridesmaid to be yours for the day- I have seen this done and its really sweet.on this day which is yours entirely anyone else would show themselves to be very churlish to compare your day to anyone elses and refer to conventions - There are no conventions this is the only day you two get married and its all about you two.

by **orson19** » Wed May 23, 2012 8:02 pm

it is your wedding day for you and your mate; not a show for anyone outside you could even advertise in the press for any little girl who always wanted to be a bridesmaid to be yours for the day- I have seen this done and its really sweet.on this day which is yours entirely anyone else would show themselves to be very churlish to compare your day to anyone elses and refer to conventions - There are no conventions this is the only day you two get married and its all about you two.

Marriage is about compromise. Your fiance should compromise and have fewer groomsmen to match. Unless he has 4 brothers, why does he need 4 groomsmen? To me 4 is a lot anyway. And apart from the best man, the groomsmen don't have anything to do except stand there and escort a bridesmaid.

EDIT: I was not saying to drop a guy once he's been asked - that'd be cruel! I'm assuming he hasn't asked them all yet. It's very poor planning to ask people before you've both agreed on the size of your bridal party.

by **eochaidh94** » Wed May 23, 2012 8:12 pm

It is NOT necessary to have the same number of bridesmaids & groomsmen.
Also if you have to think about who to ask then you don't ask . You really should only ask people who are important to you at this point in your life. DO NOT ask someone just to make up the numbers.
There is nothing wrong with you having your brother as 1 of your attendants either. I went to a wedding where the bride did this. Her brother was her chief attendant & she called him her brides butler.
As a bridal dressmaker I have seen a variety of scenarios including couples having no attendants ( just witnesses) , opposite gender attendants, almost as many attendants as other guests.
At 1 wedding that I made outfits for & also attended ALL the wedding party was related to the bride as the groom had only recently emigrated & none of his family were able to come out for the wedding .

by **bernd** » Wed May 23, 2012 8:27 pm

Do NOT ask your fiance to drop one of his guys. That is a horrible idea. They are special to him and it is not proper for you to ask him to compromise. Just have an unequal number of attendents. People do it all the time. I am sure that your bridesmaid would love to have a man on each arm.

by **corcoran42** » Wed May 23, 2012 8:28 pm

It's not a big deal, there's no written rule that your parties must be the same number of people on each side.

My fiance has a similar situation to yours and will likely be one or two short of my bridesmaids. If you are that worried about it looking off balance, have two men on each arm of your bridesmaids, and instead of splitting the photos and head table up by gender, have it: male, female, male, female, male (that way you can fit in one or two extra males to your females, and nobody will even notice).

Hope it helps.
:)

by **elkan80** » Wed May 23, 2012 8:48 pm

You do NOT need to have the same amount of people on both sides of the wedding party. It really does not matter if he has four people on his side and you have three, or if he's got two and you've got five, or any other combo of numbers. None of that matters. All that matters is that however many people you have standing up there with you, is that they are close to you and you want them standing up there with you.

by **hurst** » Wed May 23, 2012 8:53 pm

Ask whoever u want. If u have more men than women, who cares? This is 2012, anything goes. Two men can walk down the aisle together. And one man can walk alone if u have an odd amount.

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