Why is living a lie so hard?

[josephus]

Hi my names Jonathan, 24, Nobody i know, knows im an emotional bisexual (romantic relations with both genders and only sexual with one) = girls for me. I wanted to tell them on my last birthday on september 17th, of 2011, but i got too emotional and told them about some of my incounters when i was 6-9 y/o and all i was told by my dad that he went through worse things woth his brothers. My mom seemed to act of understanding. My grand parents are religous (Im not) and Im sure none of them wouldnt take it softly. The only people i have are the ones online, because they know how hard it is or was because they had to got through or will go through it too. Sense i chocked last year i now have about 2 1/2 months to play out how ill do it and hope for a good reaction or more of a reason to reject them for now on.killing myself is sometime the answer to me. i learned in health class that killing your self doesnt just hurt you, but the others around you. i truely do not care about them, becasue of their actions when i was being pick on for being gay (im not) in late elementary school, middle school and the first year of high school. all they did was ask if i was the one allowing them to do it or they didnt want to hear it anymore. the ones i do care more about are our 2 dogs and if i kill myself, that will hurt the humans im with (i dont care), but than that would hurt our dogs and i dont want to hurt them.
What to do
Please help!

[artzai]

because you have to pretend to be something you're not which is very difficult for most

[bercnan72]

omgosh i can tell. being homosexual is a NASTY degenerative illness and your avatar EXEMPLIFiES this very very well