Why is she running away from the problem?

[lundie]

When this beautiful girl moved to my country, after a month dating her I realized I'd found what I'd been looking for. We fell deep in love almost straight away, it was an amazing feeling. We found out we were 4th cousins, to see what she would say, I told her I didn't think we could continue. She was upset but said because she'd come here for a fresh start she could accept it. But she didn't want anymore contact with me. I couldn't deal with that n because of how I felt about her I didn't want to lose her. After discussing what we wanted I found out she didn't want anymore children, she had a nine year old n had struggled bringing her up. Nevertheless it had only been a couple of months since I met her n thought she was still young 26, she may change her mind. She was serious about me my family loved her very much and took to calling her their in laws too. While she was here she found out she would lose the house she rented if she decided to stay here any longer. So she didn't lose her furniture she got her dad to sell it off, now I knew she was serious. We started making plans and I was looking forward to spending a big part of my life with her. My mum even told me she had spoke to her about how scared she was of having children, but at the same time she loved me, I thought that was sweet. We planned to go to Atlanta and New York once she'd settled down. To cut a long story short after 6 months I started to get cold feet, to be honest I'd had cold feet from the start but was too involved to let go. One night we were making love N I just got up n ran out. It wasn't the first time either this time I couldn't make any excuses, this time I could tell how much I was hurting her, I told her I loved her but I couldn't do it. She was heartbroken n wanted to go home, I paid her air fare. She asked why I did to her what I did, n the truth was I couldn't bare to see her with anyone else. At first she kept in touch n then it stopped. I asked why in n email - cause the thing is my new girl friend is pregnant we've been dating nine months but I've realized no matter who i'm with i'll always love her. She says she never wants to see me again, but she still loves me. One of the reasons she gave is that she gave up a lot for me n I threw it back in her face. Can she really blame me for loosing her house n everything. I want us to get on n i'll always be there for her n she knows this, we've been through a hard time together. Why doesn't she want know me anymore, I just want a chance to be friends, I need to see her again. I've spoken to a friend of both of ours n he says shes really messed up but dealing with it n isolated herself from people. I truly am sorry

[collyer]

she thinks that is the best way out. but in reality it really is not