Am I being selfish regarding family vacations?

[curran]

I have been married for almost 4 years in a second marriage. I have a 11 year old daughter from a previous marriage. This is my husband's first marriage.

Prior to our marriage on the subject of family vacations...
every summer I would go with my parents and daughter to the beach for a week. We are love the coast.
every summer my husband would go with his parents to the river for a week. They love the dessert and go boating. They coordinate this trip with two other families.

Before we got married, we agreed that we would alternate summer vacations each year. One summer week with his family, and then the next year with my family.

Personally, my daughter and I don't do well with the desert heat. The first time we went there I got sick and my daughter's skin got very dry on her face and started flaking. I can't handle the heat.

So hoping that the next summer was going to be the beach, it didn't happen. We have done his family's boating trip for the past three years. I dread going there, but I do it for my husband. I show that I have a good time, even though he knows I don't like it. This summer I finally decided to say that my daughter and I are not going. If we go again this summer, this would be our 4th summer in a row.

We did the boating trip in summers 2009, 2010, and 2011.

Just to give some more background, earlier this year we went on a 1-week cruise with my family during Spring Break 2012. We also did the same thing with them on 2010.

My mother-in-law complained to my husband saying that's being crappy that I don't want to go; and that my husband just want with my family for a week this year for spring break.

My husband said that if my daughter didn't want to go then she can go visit her dad's for a week while I go without her to the river. I told him that I cannot picture myself going on a vacation without my daughter; and repeated that I am not going either. I have no problem with my husband going without me. Since then, he's been very moody with me and not as affectionate.

Am I being selfish? Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!

[jarl]

No, I agree with you. If you agreed to alternate, then you should stick to the agreement. You went 3 times in a row with his family and none with your family. He's breaking the agreement. How does that make YOU selfish?? HE is the selfish one! And you said he even knows you hate it and go anyway. That makes him even more selfish!

This kinda **** is the reason I'm divorced. My ex-husband would break promises/agreements all the time and throw hissy fits if I ever wanted to do ANYTHING with MY friends or family!! It was always about HIM and HIS family. Sorry you're going through that.